“There’s no one who’s dropped on top of the mountain. You’ve got to work your way to the top.”

I’m an Einstein of the streets and an Oxford scholar of common sense.

I think everyone should go to college and get a degree and then spend six months as a bartender and six months as a cabdriver. Then they would really be educated.

Fifty percent of the doctors in this country graduated in the bottom half of their classes.

It’s so ridiculous to see a golfer with a one foot putt and everybody is saying “Shhh” and not moving a muscle.

Then we allow nineteen year-old kids to face a game-deciding free throw with seventeen thousand people yelling.

That’s it. Curtains. Off to the races. Treetops. Seashells and balloons.

Can’t win without talent, you know.

If a player leaves Marquette and doesn’t have some of my blood in him, then I don’t think I’ve done a good job.

Eliminate the referees, raise the basket four feet, double the size of the basketball, limit the height of the players to 5 feet 9 inches, bring back the centre jump, allow taxi drivers in for free and allow the players to carry guns.

Don’t call me son unless you’re going to include me in your will. (When Adolph Rupp called him, “Son.”)

The people who know basketball, their elevators don’t go to the top.

” Let me take two shots in the arm and a punch on the nose and let me get on to the next thing.

I let ballplayers yell back at me because I wasn’t trying to prove I’m boss. I know I’m boss.

The only difference between being eccentric and being nuts is the number of security boxes you own.

The world is run by C students

I called him over and told him about it. He told me that in the back there’s a tank they keep the lobsters in and while they’re in there, they fight and sometimes one loses a claw. I told him ‘then bring me a winner.’

I took no position on just where they stand on the scale of horrors relative to Auschwitz, the bombing of Chungking, Lidice, and so on.

Do I feel like I’m 65? No. I feel like I’m 15. That’s my problem.

No man deserves to be praised for his goodness, who has it not in his power to be wicked. Goodness without that power is generally nothing more than sloth, or an impotence of will.

We cease loving ourselves if no one loves us.

No man is useless while he has a friend.

I should say that we are almost indispensable; and no man is useless while he has a friend.

Comedy is great because there’s no overhead.

I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.