“A story with a moral appended is like the bill of a mosquito. It bores you, and then injects a stinging drop to irritate your conscience.”

We can’t buy one minute of time with cash; if we could, rich people would live longer.

Humans were denied the speech of animals. The only common ground of communication upon which dogs and men can get together is in fiction.

If you live in an atmosphere of luxury, luxury is yours whether your money pays for it, or another’s.

It was beautiful and simple, as truly great swindles are.

To a woman nothing seems quite impossible to the powers of the man she worships.

Perhaps there is no happiness in life so perfect as the martyr’s.

We may achieve climate, but weather is thrust upon us.

If man knew how women pass the time when they are alone, they’d never marry.

Young artists must pave their way to Art by drawing pictures for magazine stories that young authors write to pave their way to Literature.

There is a saying that no man has tasted the full flavor of life until he has known poverty, love, and war.

Those whom we first love we seldom marry.

There are a few editor men with whom I am privileged to come in contact. It has not been long since it was their habit to come in contact with me. There is a difference.

Whenever he saw a dollar in another man’s hands he took it as a personal grudge, if he couldn’t take it any other way.

She had become so thoroughly annealed into his life that she was like the air he breathed–necessary but scarcely noticed.

Most wonderful of all are words, and how they make friends one with another.

Whenever my patient begins to count the carriages in her funeral procession I subtract 50 per cent from the curative power of medicines.

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.

The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.

Those who have mastered etiquette, who are entirely, impeccably right, would seem to arrive at a point of exquisite dullness.

I keep hearing I’m a crazy party guy. I’m not. I’m boring. At least by party standards.

You can’t get bored of winning. You can win 10 games in a row but you keep the same will to snatch the 11th. You always need more.

There is one quality that characterizes all of us who deal with the sciences of the earth and its life – we are never bored.

For me, the opposite of happiness isn’t sadness but boredom.

Boredom is the biggest disease in the world, darling.