“Listen to your cool, drunk uncle who tells you to lie. Those are the relationships that last.”

Comics know that they do best. They might not be best to rewrite to another person’s comedy, but they know what is best for them. Luckily,

” But, in fact, if you do something you like to do and you’re good at it, you’re going to find someone who will like you for that reason.

When you go out with your crew of friends and you get into trouble, at the end of the night when you come home, you’re still the same crew of friends. It’s just the story that you have to tell.

Jealousy is the worst trait in any person.

People want to be friends with someone who likes to have a good time.

It’s really about committing super-hard to whatever you’re trying to create. In essence, I’m just copying my favorite comedic actors, and it’s the people who make me laugh the hardest who commit the hardest.

I come from both a writing background – with ‘Workaholics’ – and I also act in what I’ve written.

If you like standup and decide that it’s overtaking your life and want to hate it, watch 1,000 standup comedians who are trying to get on a TV show.

I’m always thinking, ‘my career is over, I have to move back to Omaha, and work on the railroad, with the rest of my family. So no, I’m never thinking I’ve ‘arrived.’ I think that’s a good way to be.

What’s cool about renting is that you don’t care about your house getting destroyed. So I think that is the number

The thing about singing is that if you’re having fun while doing it then people will have fun watching you do it.

Shakespeare was a smart dude. He was the president of Rome.

In high school I was worried about singing in a choir not being a cool thing, like “I want girls to like me so I don’t want to do something that’s not cool.

“Poor guy or poor girl, get offstage. You’re killing us.” But if you get onstage and you don’t sing that well but you give it your all, people will be like, “Yeah, I’ll chug beer to this!”.

You can shoot a show and have it not air. It’s not real until it’s airing.

That’s another piece of advice: Don’t go to college; follow your dreams. Unless you’re a doctor – then go to college.

We have peace with Israel. We’re actually the last man standing. So there is going to be immense pressure and people asking,

Last night I’d made love to a woman for the first and last time. It had been amazing and I had a memory that would shape the rest of my life.

I understood that pain was real and sometimes things didn’t last. Sometimes you just had to enjoy it while it lasts and cherish it when it’s gone.

Every show that comes out that’s female driven is compared to the last female-driven show, as if it’s taking over.

As the Internet breaks down the last justifications for a professional class of politicians, it also builds up the tools for replacing them.

I’m always looking for something that’s versatile from the last.

Startups often win because it’s easier to see what comes next when you don’t have to worry about maintaining what came last.

I was last in Rome in AD 540 when it was full of Goths and their heavy horses. It has changed a great deal since then.