“You may be big in New York, but in Walters, Oklahoma, you’re nobody.”

Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor.

Coaches who shoot par in the summer are the guys I want on my schedule in the winter.

They wanted to buy out my contract, but I couldn’t make change for a $20, so they had to let me stay.

Damn referees, I’ll miss them less than anybody.

You always catch the wrong players.

The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.

If I make a set of rules, then a guy goes out and steals an airplane. He comes back and says, ‘It wasn’t in the rules.’

Hell no. When I die I want to be sick.

I don’t have any tricky plays. I’d rather have tricky players.

I don’t understand these new coaches who don’t drink. What do they do when they get beat?

Doctors bury their mistakes, but mine are still on scholarship.

You mean in the state?

I’d rather be a football coach. That way you only lose eleven games a year.

We did have three go to the YMCA.

We’re a bit flashy, but the music’s not one big noise.

Poor old Germany. Too big for Europe, too small for the world

The bigger, the better; in everything.

Boredom is the biggest disease in the world, darling.

I remember really vividly kneeling by my bed as a nine-year-old, saying my prayers and asking God to give me boobs that were so big that if I laid on my back I wouldn’t be able to see my feet.

When I scramble and do those things, I try to look downfield, look for the playmakers, put it in their hands, and let them make all the big plays happen.

It’s a challenge for all quarterbacks, though: You want to make the big play; you want to throw a touchdown every single play. But at the same time, you have to know that it’s a process.

I’m a big believer in winging it. I’m a big believer that you’re never going to find the perfect city travel experience or the perfect meal without a constant willingness to experience a bad one.