“More people die on a per mile basis from drunk walking than from drunk driving.”

I found there were things about religion that I really loved; things like the sense of gratefulness that it brings.

It’s hard to be in a bad mood when you’re walking around looking like you’re about to play the semifinals at Wimbledon.

Paintings! They’re like TV, but they don’t move.

In trying to avoid one sin I’ve committed another.

The key to making healthy decisions is to respect your future self. Honor him or her. Treat him or her like you would treat a friend or a loved one.

After a while, if you’re committed, you start to believe in the things in which you’re praying. It’s just cognitive dissonance. You can’t live a completely religious life and not start to have it sink in.

When I went to Israel, it was a little disorienting, because there are so many people who look crazy and were dressed like me. There, I was just one of the apocalyptic crowd.

When I was with the serpent-handlers in Tennessee, it was the most bizarre method of worship I could think of. Yet when you sit with these people, you can kind of see how it makes sense.

I find placebos uplifting and exhilarating. It means that taking action–no matter what the action is–might help you feel better.

I thought religion would eventually wither away and we’d all be worshiping at the altar of science.

Its sort of my job to feel good.

I was very good at sitting. But I just read so much research about how horrible sitting is for you. It’s like, it’s really bad. It’s like Paula-Deen-glazed-bacon-doughnut bad. So I now move around as much as possible.

Probably 90 percent of our life decisions are powered by the twin engines of inertia and laziness.

Unconditional love is an illogical notion, but such a great and powerful one.

I’m addicted to self-improvement. The thing is, there’s so damn much about myself to improve.

I’m not a fan of ‘write what you know.’ If you don’t know, find out. I knew nothing about the Bible before I started writing ‘The Year of Living Biblically.’ That was kind of the point – to learn.

When you drink me the flavor that you swallow will be the taste of my soul.

We need to be angels for each other, to give each other strength and consolation. Because only when we fully realize that the cup of life is not only a cup of sorrow but also a cup of joy will we be able to drink it.

I thought such awful thoughts that I cannot even say them out loud because they would make Jesus want to drink gin straight out of the cat dish.

I hunger for the bread of God, the flesh of Jesus Christ; I long to drink of his blood, the gift of unending love.

Ah, lives there a man with soul so dead, who never to himself hath said As he hunched and rolled in his comfortable bed: To hell with the rent . . . I’ll drink instead!

If I can wake up everyday before I die and know that I don’t have to serve anyone food or drinks, I will be happy!

What America needs now is a drink.

And in the end, we were all just humans, Drunk on the idea that love, only love, could heal our brokenness.