“I can understand that the whole world is interested in my wife Madonna. That’s even why I married her.”

I like to think that we’ve got a plan, so let’s stick to it. That said, once we’ve stuck to it, we’re allowed as much improvisation as anyone cares to indulge themselves in.

I suppose directing on set is the most fun because it’s a good crack and you feel you’re on the battlefield whereas writing is a fairly solitary undertaking.

I don’t like the idea of agents in a typical form. The idea of agents, to me, brings up the idea of a man in a very boring suit who’s not very good looking and doesn’t have much attention to style.

I’m not under too much of an illusion of how smart or un-smart I am because filmmaking ultimately is about teamwork.

It’s not easy to strap yourself down to a desk and bash on a keyboard when you know you can direct lots of films, because directing films is fun and interactive and gregarious. Writing isn’t.

One of the interesting and exciting things about my job is watching technological ground being pioneered.

I got too fed up with films that didn’t make you think. I liked the idea of one that you’d have to be dancing around with. I like my mind to be engaged when I watch a film.

I’d like to work with the missus, but there’s nothing in the pipeline at the moment.

Previously, on Lock, Stock, I went to bed at two in the morning and woke up at five in the morning, and on this one I was known to nod off on the set occasionally.

I like death. I’m a big fan of it.

I’m not politically motivated. I used to be – passionately. I used to be very Left wing. Then I went very Right wing, and now I rest somewhere in the middle.

I like filming in the UK – I’ll sleep in my own bed, which I’m really happy about.

It’s OK to have beliefs, just don’t believe in them.

Jake Green isn’t just Jake Green. Jake represents all of us. The colour green is the central column of the spectrum and the name Jake has all sorts of numerical values. All things come back to him within the film’s world of cons and games.

I think everything you do, characters I always find, have their own voices and once you establish who that character is you find a different voice. I think it’s just a question of establishing that character and the voice speaks through that character.

The best thing to do is find one person in your life and try to love them unconditionally. If you’ve accomplished that, you’ve accomplished a lot.

You are a genius! and I am a genius because I married you.

a happy marriage can be a vexation, that it’s a contract best renewed and renewed again, even quietly and privately—even alone.

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.

For me, marriage was more like a full-on merger, a reconfiguring of two lives into one, with the well-being of a family taking precedence over any one agenda or goal.

I’ve always fantasized about wedding gowns. And it’s not because of marriage.

I was like, I don’t know if I can hold that promise [to wait until marriage to have sex] because this guy at camp is really cute. Sex wasn’t talked about in my home, but I was a very curious young girl.

It’s not easy having a good marriage – but I don’t want easy. Easy doesn’t make you grow. Easy doesn’t make you think. I thank God every day that I am married to a man who makes me think. That’s my definition of true love.

I’m anal-retentive. I’m a workaholic. I have insomnia. And I’m a control freak. That’s why I’m not married. Who could stand me?