“Animals are near and dear to my heart, and I’ve devoted my life to trying to improve their lives.”

It’s fun once in a while to do a serious part but I really enjoy doing comedy because I love to laugh.

I think older women still have a full life.

I don’t know where I learned elephants like their tongues slapped. Whatever turns you on.

I’ve enjoyed the opposite sex a lot. Always have. Always will.

Well, I mean, if a joke or humor is bawdy, it’s got to be funny enough to warrant it. You can’t just have it bawdy or dirty just for the sake of being that – it’s got to be funny.

I enjoy being busy, I really do. Remember, I’m the stub end of the railroad. I have no family, so I’m not taking busy time away from people that I should be spending it with. So I’m just relaxing and enjoying it.

I just make it my business to get along with people so I can have fun. It’s that simple.

I have the backbone of an eel.

It’s been phenomenal, but everybody keeps congratulating me on my resurgence and my big comeback. I haven’t been away, guys. I’ve been working steadily for the last 63 years.

When we started in television, there was that magic box in the corner of the room, and ‘Oh my gosh – look what it’s doing!’

I really don’t care with whom you sleep. I just care what kind of a decent human being you are.

During the Depression, my dad made radios to sell to make extra money. Nobody had any money to buy the radios, so he would trade them for dogs. He built kennels in the backyard, and he cared for the dogs.

I stayed in show business to pay for my animal business.

The writers are the stars of every really successful sitcom.

A lady likes to be complimented on her looks, her eyes, her figure. But the personality comments are much appreciated.

I don’t get political.

Every woman should have four pets in her life. A mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage, a tiger in her bed, and a jackass who pays for everything.

A country is known by the way it treats its animals.

My first crush was this kid in kindergarten who told me he had tigers in his attic as well.

A lot of my dreams have to do with animals I think because I’m such a huge animal lover. I have so many pets. I always have crazy dreams where I’m like riding an elephant through the jungle or hanging out with a bunch of monkeys.

Man is an animal which, alone among the animals, refuses to be satisfied by the fulfillment of animal desires.

As a camel kneels before his master to have him remove his burden at the end of the day, so kneel each night and let the Master take your burden.

Defend the Bible? I’d sooner defend a lion. You don’t defend the Bible; you open its cage and let it roar.

You never know how a horse will pull until you hook him to a heavy load.