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My dream was maybe someday, one night I can be a guest on a talk show, and then I will have achieved everything I want.

Dick Cavett

I am always shocked that there are still a handful of defenders of the dubious practice of abstinence, surely the worst idea since chocolate-covered ants.
DICK CAVETT

Chocolate Hands Ideas Myself Practice Shock Worst
I have yet to see one of those Comedy Central shows with multiple standup comics that doesn’t include someone the size of the Hindenburg.
DICK CAVETT

Comic Myself See Show Stand
I have a long list of things that make me mad.
DICK CAVETT

Angry List Mad Myself
Once I left out what I then considered my best line because there was a suspected column rat in the house.
DICK CAVETT

Best Column Consider Home Myself Suspect
I’m not freakishly short. I had, on my show, used shortness as a joke subject; it didn’t really bother me.
DICK CAVETT

Joke Myself Short Show Subject
I’m not the guy with the enormous comedy nose or the big feet or the bad posture or the whatever; a physical comic has certain things.
DICK CAVETT

Body Comedy Comic Myself
I’m sure I’ve all but lost friends by maintaining that, despite their love for it, I always saw Stanley Kramer’s ‘It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World’ as more of an exercise in anti-comedy than humor.
DICK CAVETT

Exercise Friendship Lost Maintenance Myself
To call New York’s traffic at holiday time a nightmare is to understate.
DICK CAVETT

Holiday Night Time Traffic
I haven’t ever found any great writing on that wonderful and often unappreciated art form, the insult.
DICK CAVETT

Appreciation Art Form Greatness Wonderful Writing
I find most ‘sacred music’ pretty dismal.
DICK CAVETT

Finding Music Myself Sacred
I eat at this German-Chinese restaurant and the food is delicious. The only problem is that an hour later you’re hungry for power.
DICK CAVETT

Eat Food Hungry Myself Power
I feel sorry for the poor kids whose parents feel they’re qualified to teach them at home. Of course, some parents are smarter than some teachers, but in the main I see home-schooling as misguided foolishness.
DICK CAVETT

Children Feeling Fools Guide Home Parents Poor Smart
Years have passed since I have set foot in a comedy club. If the comic is doing badly it’s painful, and if the comic is doing brilliantly, it’s extremely painful.
DICK CAVETT

Brilliant Comedy Foot Myself Pain Time
I’ve actually gotten so I don’t associate television with entertainment very much.
DICK CAVETT

Associate Entertainment Myself Television
A biggest mistake I made when I started doing a talk show was I thought you had to read the books.
DICK CAVETT

Big Book Mistake Reading Start Yourself
There’s so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?
DICK CAVETT

Comedy Street Television

My dream was maybe someday, one night I can be a guest on a talk show, and then I will have achieved everything I want.

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My dream was maybe someday, one night I can be a guest on a talk show, and then I will have achieved everything I want.

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Popular Authors

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