“Some people talk to animals. Not many listen though. That’s the problem.”

The nicest thing about the rain is that it always stops. Eventually.

Golf is so popular simply because it is the best game in the world at which to be bad.

It is a terrible thing for an author to have a lot of people running about his book without any invitation from him at all.

Almost anyone can be an author; the business is to collect money and fame from this state of being.

Always watch where you are going. Otherwise, you may step on a piece of the Forest that was left out by mistake.

Golf is so popular simply because it is the best game in the world at which to be bad.

It is a terrible thing for an author to have a lot of people running about his book without any invitation from him at all.

Almost anyone can be an author; the business is to collect money and fame from this state of being.

Always watch where you are going. Otherwise, you may step on a piece of the Forest that was left out by mistake.

You are braver than you believe, Stronger than you seem, And smarter than you think.

A bear, however hard he tries, grows tubby without exercise.

Any day spent with you is my favorite day. So today is my new favorite day.

Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

Nowhere can I think so happily as in a train.

If you were a bird, and lived on high, You’d lean on the wind when the wind came by, You’d say to the wind when it took you away: ‘That’s where I wanted to go today!

Bores can be divided into two classes; those who have their own particular subject, and those who do not need a subject.

I had the best buffalo horse that ever made a track.

Education isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.

All I say is, nobody has any business to go around looking like a horse and behaving as if it were all right. You don’t catch horses going around looking like people, do you?

I actually learned about sex watching neighborhood dogs. And it was good. Go ahead and laugh. I think the most important thing I learned was: Never let go of the girl’s leg, no matter how hard she tries to shake you off.

If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

Whoever eats the Lamb outside this House is profane.

The serpent, the king, the tiger, the stinging wasp, the small child, the dog owned by other people, and the fool: these seven ought not to be awakened from sleep.

Major North and myself went out in advance of the command several miles and killed a number of buffaloes.