“I just want to bring as much natural as I can. I’m not saying that people who take acting lessons are false. They’re much better than I am, but it doesn’t work for me.”

If you’re walking with your lady on the sidewalk, I still like to see a man walking street-side, to protect the lady from traffic. I grew up with that, and I hate to see something like that get lost. I still like to see that a man opens the door. I like those touches of chivalry that are fast disappearing.

It’s fun once in a while to do a serious part but I really enjoy doing comedy because I love to laugh.

I think older women still have a full life.

I don’t know where I learned elephants like their tongues slapped. Whatever turns you on.

I’ve enjoyed the opposite sex a lot. Always have. Always will.

Well, I mean, if a joke or humor is bawdy, it’s got to be funny enough to warrant it. You can’t just have it bawdy or dirty just for the sake of being that – it’s got to be funny.

I enjoy being busy, I really do. Remember, I’m the stub end of the railroad. I have no family, so I’m not taking busy time away from people that I should be spending it with. So I’m just relaxing and enjoying it.

I just make it my business to get along with people so I can have fun. It’s that simple.

I have the backbone of an eel.

It’s been phenomenal, but everybody keeps congratulating me on my resurgence and my big comeback. I haven’t been away, guys. I’ve been working steadily for the last 63 years.

When we started in television, there was that magic box in the corner of the room, and ‘Oh my gosh – look what it’s doing!’

I really don’t care with whom you sleep. I just care what kind of a decent human being you are.

During the Depression, my dad made radios to sell to make extra money. Nobody had any money to buy the radios, so he would trade them for dogs. He built kennels in the backyard, and he cared for the dogs.

I stayed in show business to pay for my animal business.

The writers are the stars of every really successful sitcom.

A lady likes to be complimented on her looks, her eyes, her figure. But the personality comments are much appreciated.

The great lesson that nature seems to teach us at all ages is self-dependence, self-protection, self-support. In the hours of our keenest sufferings all are thrown wholly on themselves for consolation.

Surely the immutable laws of the universe can teach more impressive and exalted lessons than the holy books of all the religions on earth.

If God treats you well by teaching you a disastrous lesson, you never forget it.

Lesson 1 from Spitzer: Don’t alienate the legislature on Day 1.

Never back down from a real challenge. They give the best lessons in life.

A nation that fails to plan intelligently for the development and protection of its precious waters will be condemned to wither because of its shortsightedness. The hard lessons of history are clear, written on the deserted sands and ruins of once proud civilizations.

We can draw lessons from the past, but we cannot live in it.

Bake at any time. Lick the chocolate from the bowl. Lessons from my Nan.