“Every Joke is a Tiny Revolution.”

If people cannot write well, they cannot think well, and if they cannot think well, others will do their thinking for them.

The way to make a million dollars is to start a religion.

To see what is in front of one’s nose needs a constant struggle.

If you loved someone, you loved him, and when you had nothing else to give, you still gave him love.

The fallacy is to believe that under a dictatorial government you can be free inside.

The war is not meant to be won, it is meant to be continuous.

Four legs good, two legs bad.

There is no swifter route to the corruption of thought than through the corruption of language.

Every Joke is a Tiny Revolution.

Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past.

Truth becomes untruth if uttered by your enemy.

To die hating them, that was freedom.

There was truth and there was untruth, and if you clung to the truth even against the whole world, you were not mad.

The very concept of objective truth is fading out of the world. Lies will pass into history.

Some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals believe them.

Of pain you could wish only one thing: that it should stop. Nothing in the world was so bad as physical pain. In the face of pain there are no heroes.

My first Vine I really just posted out of spontaneity.

We don’t apologize for a joke. We are comics. We are here to make you laugh. If you don’t get it, then don’t watch us.

Some subjects are so serious that one can only joke about them.

Television is a medium of entertainment which permits millions of people to listen to the same joke at the same time, and yet remain lonesome.

If life a joke then I’m waiting for the punch. You all about the beef but me, I’m bout the bun.

Whenever fortune wishes to joke, she lifts people from what is humble to the highest extremity of affairs.

I have come back  [to the music scene] so many times, people are just like, Is this another one? It’s kind of like a joke to me now.

I aspire to be an old man with an old wife laughing at old jokes from a wild youth.