“Lord, thy one-liners are as good as thy tricks. Thou art indeed an all-round family entertainer.”

I find his films about as funny as getting an arrow through the neck and discovering there’s a gas bill tied to it.

I am not really single, I am dating my self , I take my self out to eat, I buy myself clothes, I love me, I’m awesome.

I’m not a naturally funny man. I find that I can only be funny, if I become someone else.

I mean I can do it when I’m very relaxed, and with good friends, then I think I can be amusing.

The right to ridicule is far more important to society than any right not to be ridiculed because one in my view represents openness – and the other represents oppression.

Sometimes I don’t feel like going to work but then I remember I was born cute not rich.

The older you get, the more you realise how happenstance has helped to determine your path through life.

People think because I can make them laugh on the stage, I’ll be able to make them laugh in person. That isn’t the case at all. I am essentially a rather quiet, dull person who just happens to be a performer.

I’m as poor as a church mouse, that’s just had an enormous tax bill on the very day his wife ran off with another mouse, taking all the cheese.

I’m not looking for anything other than an interesting role to play.

The job is interesting, and the task is difficult, but the man is just a decent man doing a very ordinary job.

I’m not a collector. I don’t like the toy cupboard syndrome that causes so many good cars to evaporate.

I consider myself more of a visual comedian than a physical one.

I like to juggle with one ball at a time. Then I put the ball down and do nothing for extended periods of time.

Mr. Bean is essentially a child trapped in the body of a man. All cultures identify with children in a similar way, so he has this bizarre global outreach.

I have always worried about things more than I should.

I figured, ‘Why not go into entertainment?’ I love entertaining people. I always loved being extra loud.

I be talking to females but nothing serious, just entertaining everybody.

I’m not here to judge Mike Tyson. I’m not here to judge nobody. I’m not here to monitor no other fighters. I respect him for what he did in the sport of boxing. He was an entertainer.

Boxing is a sport. We allow each other to hit each other, but I’m not treating my opponent like my enemy. We’re doing a job to entertain people.

For me, boxing isn’t about hurting each other. Boxing is entertainment and making people happy.

We are, in the comics, the last frontier of good, wholesome family humor and entertainment.

Being a public servant, this is a serious job, not like a boxer, you’re entertaining people.

Watching two men jib and jab for 12 rounds is not entertaining for me. I want action, knockouts, big shots, and people getting up off the canvas. That’s my ideal fight.