“The whole pleasure of marriage is that it is a perpetual crisis.”

Let your religion be less of a theory and more of a love affair.

When we were children we were grateful to those who filled our stockings at Christmas time. Why are we not grateful to God for filling our stockings with legs?

The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost.

And when it rains on your parade, look up rather than down. Without the rain, there would be no rainbow.

The golden age only comes to men when they have forgotten gold.

It is absurd for the Evolutionist to complain that it is unthinkable for an admittedly unthinkable God to make everything out of nothing and then pretend that it is more thinkable that nothing should turn itself into everything.

I have known many happy marriages, but never a compatible one. The whole aim of marriage is to fight through and survive the instant when incompatibility becomes unquestionable. For a man and a woman, as such, are incompatible.

There are two ways to get enough. One is to continue to accumulate more and more. The other is to desire less.

The object of opening the mind, as of opening the mouth, is to shut it again on something solid.

The problem of disbelieving in God is not that a man ends up believing nothing. Alas, it is much worse. He ends up believing anything.

Stick to the man who looks out of the window and tries to understand the world. Keep clear of the man who looks in at the window and tries to understand you.

If you argue with a madman, it is extremely probable that you will get the worst of it; for in many ways his mind moves all the quicker for not being delayed by the things that go with good judgment.

We make our friends; we make our enemies; but God makes our next door neighbour.

Agnostic is the Greek word, for the Latin word, for ignorant.

The word ‘good’ has many meanings. For example, if a man were to shoot his grandmother at a range of five hundred yards, I should call him a good shot, but not necessarily a good man.

Gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.

You can’t be afraid of what people are going to say, because you’re never going to make everyone happy.

Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.

If you come at four in the afternoon, I’ll begin to be happy by three.

You can only hope to get a combination of happy work and a happy life.

Much unhappiness has come into the world because of bewilderment and things left unsaid.

So, have a little fun. Soon enough you’ll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.

Happiness is a state of mind. It’s just according to the way you look at things.

Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness.