“Penny saved is a penny got.”

Public schools are the nurseries of all vice and immorality.

When I mention religion I mean the Christian religion; and not only the Christian religion, but the Protestant religion; and not only the Protestant religion, but the Church of England.

The slander of some people is as great a recommendation as the praise of others.

It is not from nature, but from education and habits, that our wants are chiefly derived.

A lottery is a taxation on all of the fools in creation.

Money will say more in one moment than the most eloquent lover can in years.

There is no zeal blinder than that which is inspired with a love of justice against offenders.

Love and scandal are the best sweeteners of tea.

Human life very much resembles a game of chess: for, as in the latter, while a gamester is too attentive to secure himself very strongly on one side of the board, he is apt to leave an unguarded opening on the other, so doth it often happen in life.

Neither great poverty nor great riches will hear reason.

Riches without charity are nothing worth. They are a blessing only to him who makes them a blessing to others.

For I hope my Friends will pardon me, when I declare, I know none of them without a Fault; and I should be sorry if I could imagine, I had any Friend who could not see mine. Forgiveness, of this Kind, we give and demand in Turn.

Wine and youth are fire upon fire.

Most men like in women what is most opposite their own characters.

Thwackum was for doing justice, and leaving mercy to heaven.

Tea! The panacea for everything from weariness to a cold to a murder Love and scandal are the best sweeteners of tea.

Money doesn’t change men, it merely unmasks them. If a man is naturally selfish or arrogant or greedy, the money brings that out, that’s all.

No amount of taxation is ever described as “greed” on the part of government or the clientele of government.

If you cannot control your emotions, you cannot control your money.

A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of.

The more you learn, the more you’ll earn.

You can’t reverse fame. You can lose all the money, but you’ll never lose people knowing you.

Goal of government should be to maximize the happiness of the people. Giving each person money allows them to decide what meets their needs, rather than the blunt tool of legislation, which creates self-serving special interests.

The right person by your side will have you saving money, living better, making moves, and laughing constantly.