“Although the devil be the father of lies, he seems, like other great inventors, to have lost much of his reputation by the continual improvements that have been made upon him.”

Politics, as the word is commonly understood, are nothing but corruptions.

It is useless to attempt to reason a man out of a thing he was never reasoned into.

I never wonder to see men wicked, but I often wonder to see them not ashamed.

Every day is an opportunity to make a new happy ending. May you live all the days of your life.

It is a maxim among these lawyers, that whatever hath been done before, may legally be done again: and therefore they take special care to record all the decisions formerly made against common justice and the general reason of mankind.

I never knew a man come to greatness or eminence who lay abed late in the morning.

No wise man ever wished to be younger.

The stoical scheme of supplying our wants by lopping off our desires, is like cutting off our feet when we want shoes.

An idle reason lessens the weight of the good ones you gave before.

May you live all the days of your life.

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman.

It is impossible that anything so natural, so necessary, and so universal as death, should ever have been designed by providence as an evil to mankind.

He was a bold man that first ate an oyster.

It is computed that eleven thousand persons have at several times suffered death rather than submit to break their eggs at the smaller end.

Physicians ought not to give their judgment of religion, for the same reason that butchers are not admitted to be jurors upon life and death.

There is nothing constant in this world but inconsistency.

Dance with me. Bring my demons to their knees.

Always be doing something worthwhile; then the devil will always find you busy.

Secrets of the past! Who does not wish to keep the past locked in a cage like a ferocious beast? The rich are sleepless for fear of thieves. The respectable have to guard their reputations in the same way.

Be ever engaged, so that whenever the devil calls he may find you occupied.

Is it true that cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny?

A false interpretation of Scripture causes that the gospel of the Lord becomes the gospel of man, or, which is worse, of the devil.

Woman is the gate of the devil, the road to iniquity, the sting of the scorpion, in a word, a dangerous species.

While you were claiming to protect me from others, someone should have protected me from you.