“My wife actually got worried about my drinking so much regular milk, you know, so she got me into rice milk and now soy milk, which I greatly enjoy. A soy mocha’s a fine thing.”

What has changed is that nothing has changed. That’s what has made me more unhappy than everything else.

You can’t make a record if you ain’t got nothin’ to say.

I think people need to be educated to the fact that marijuana is not a drug. Marijuana is an herb and a flower. God put it here. If He put it here and He wants it to grow, what gives the government the right to say that God is wrong?

Marijuana is like sex: If I don’t do it every day I get a headache.

I’m crazy for trying, crazy for crying, and I’m crazy for loving you.

But if you think of all the people who don’t like me, just think of all the millions who’ve never heard of me!

I don’t think any person has any special knowledge about what God has planned for me and you any more than me and you do.

Love is like a dying ember, only memories remain.

If you start out looking at somebody, wondering whether he’s good or bad, I think you’re starting out in the wrong direction. I think we’re all good and we’re all bad.

I’m drinking doubles now that you’re running around single again.

If you want to make marijuana legal, you’ve got to stay straight long enough to f – vote.

A frozen river is not a dry one, it’s just a still river on the surface but is still moving, and so am my winter writing.

You will never find happiness until you stop looking for it.

Be here. Be present. Wherever you are, be there.

My doctor tells me I should start slowing it down – but there are more old drunks than there are old doctors so let’s all have another round.

Just take what you need from the ladies and leave them.

I notice increasing reluctance on the part of marketing executives to use judgment; they are coming to rely too much on research, and they use it as a drunkard uses a lamp post for support, rather than for illumination.

In my lowest moments, the only reason I didn’t commit suicide was that I knew I wouldn’t be able to drink any more if I was dead.

I’m not a drunk anymore, but since they cut out my tongue, I sound drunk.

Many people – and I think I am one of them – are more productive when they’ve had a little to drink. I find if I drink two or three brandies, I’m far better able to write.

I’m still terrified of flying. I really have to get drunk to fly. I’ve found that I’ve developed fears I never had before… fears of heights, claustrophobia only in cities, though, never in the country.

Let us eat, drink and satisfy our coarse appetites, but let us keep our souls sacred and apart.

I’ve drank more beer and pissed more blood and banged more women than all you numb nuts put together!

Is it the fault of wine if a fool drinks it and goes stumbling into darkness?