“Bipartisanship is not what is missing in Washington. Common sense is.”

The Republican promise is for policies that create economic growth. Republicans believe lower taxes, less regulation, balanced budgets, a solvent Social Security and Medicare will stimulate economic growth.

I think we need to treat everybody with dignity.

There is nothing conservative about bailing out Wall Street. Likewise, there is nothing progressive about billion dollar loans to millionaires to build solar panels.

I will not vote to send my sons, or your sons, daughters, brothers, sisters or friends to fight for a stalemate.

Inherent to socialism is the absence of choice. If I want to choose my own pretzels or books or iphones, they prevent me – they fine me, or imprison me. And those systems, not infrequently have historically, have developed into systems where there are programs.

It’s curious that only in Washington can you spend $2 billion and claim that you’re saving money.

America’s not the world’s policeman. Terrible things happen across the globe and it is beyond our means to right every wrong. But when, with modest effort and risk, we can stop children from being gassed to death and thereby make our own children safer over the long run, I believe we should act.

The Constitution was not written to restrain the citizen’s behavior, it was written to restrain the government’s behavior.

Let me be clear: I support the Civil Rights Act because I overwhelmingly agree with the intent of the legislation, which was to stop discrimination in the public sphere and halt the abhorrent practice of segregation and Jim Crow laws.

I never, ever cheated [in medical school]. I don’t condone cheating. But I would sometimes spread misinformation. This is a great tactic. Misinformation can be very important.

All issues of crime are better addressed at the state level.

No Republican questions or disputes civil rights. I have never wavered in my support for civil rights or the civil rights act.

It is impossible for African-Americans not to feel like their government is particularly targeting them.

For liberty to expand, government must shrink. For the economy to grow, government must get out of the way.

We shouldn’t be fearful of freedom, we shouldn’t be fearful of individual liberty.

I don’t plan on being bashful.

The nice thing about being a celebrity is that if you bore people they think it’s their fault.

Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.

Though I had never written a memoir, I was confident that given enough time, I could do a serviceable job. Not elegant, but blunt, informative and funnier than most readers would expect.

Whenever you have an ex, and they’re like, ‘I hope we can still be friends!’ and you weren’t friends before you started dating, then what do you go back to, really?

It’s a funny old world. A man’s lucky if he gets out of it alive.

A guy walks into a psychologist’s convention with a banana in his pocket.When asked about the significance of this he says;well,they were all out of grapes.

You shouldn’t get too close to the truth, because then maybe you stop being funny.

Funny is funny is funny.