A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.
H. L. MENCKENA cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.
More H. L. Mencken Quotes
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No one in this world, so far as I know – and I have searched the records for years, and employed agents to help me – has ever lost money by underestimating the intelligence of the great masses of the plain people.
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Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage.
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Free speech is too dangerous to a democracy to be permitted.
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All government, in its essence, is a conspiracy against the superior man: its one permanent object is to oppress him and cripple him.
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Change is not progress.
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Always remember this: If you don’t attend the funerals of your friends, they will certainly not attend yours.
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A sense of humor always withers in the presence of the messianic delusion, like justice and the truth in front of patriotic passion.
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There are two impossibilities in life: “just one drink” and “an honest politician.”
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No professional politician is ever actually in favor of public economy. It is his implacable enemy, and he knows it. All professional politicians are dedicated wholeheartedly to waste and corruption. They are the enemies of every decent man.
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The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.
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It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.
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The common argument that crime is caused by poverty is a kind of slander on the poor.
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Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
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Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
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In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican.
H. L. MENCKEN