“I speak for the trees, for the trees have no tongues.”

For a host, above all, must be kind to his guests.

I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living.

Don’t conform for the sake of pleasing others. Mold yourself into the person that you want to be.

If things start happening, don’t worry, don’t stew, just go right along and you’ll start happening too.

In my world, everyone’s a pony and they all eat rainbows and poop butterflies!

Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.

Writing for children is murder. A chapter has to be boiled down to a paragraph. Every word has to count.

I’m glad we had the times together just to laugh and sing a song, seems like we just got started and then before you know it, the times we had together were gone.

The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you’ll go.

Unslumping yourself is not easily done.

When something bad happens you have three choices. You can either let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.

Remember me and smile, for it’s better to forget than to remember me and cry.

Think left and think right and think low and think high. Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try!

And will you succeed? Yes indeed, yes indeed! Ninety-eight and three-quarters percent guaranteed!

Here are some who like to run. They run for fun in the hot, hot sun.

You can find magic wherever you look. Sit back and relax, all you need is a book.

I would never date a girl who is bisexual, because that means they also sleep with men, and men are so dirty that I’d never sleep with a girl who had slept with a man.

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast.

Books are like mirrors: if a fool looks in, you cannot expect a genius to look out.

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

Don’t fool yourself, my dear. You’re much worse than a bitch. You’re a saint. Which shows why saints are dangerous and undesirable.

Every time you left, shit was never right.

I’m trying to think, don’t confuse me with facts.