“I don’t think there’s anything you can do this way or that way to change anything.”

I can’t walk, so I can’t go home. No need to talk, cause I’m all alone. If I stay here they’re gonna lock me in, hitting the bottle again.

One thing is that I wasn’t getting booked that well, and they had control over who got the awards, they had control over who sold.

Besides that, I felt guilty. I thought for some reason…

Did ole Hank really do it this way?

If I could only fly, you see, a lot of my problems would be gone. When you think of just how much I’d save on shoes alone.

I’m old and crazy, but I still give a damn. And I still think the boys got screwed over in Vietnam.

I’m just a man, no more or no less. Bad as the worst, good as the best.

And they really did not want Willie or me, either one, to “have a hit record. They wanted the money, but they didn’t want us to be the ones.

Nobody knows I’m Elvis, nobody knows this is me. After all of my tries, I’ve got the perfect disguise.

We did an album one time called White Mansions, about the civil war, but it was written by a guy from England.

The only problem was I needed to use my own group, and things didn’t happen until I did. It wasn’t a real country sound.

I don’t believe in reincarnation at all, but if all that stuff is true, then he might have been on his last time around.

Take your tongue out of my mouth, I’m kissing you good-bye.

We got a lot of politicians up there on Capital Hill. Ain’t it funny how they prosper while the country stands still?

Highway robbery and white collar crime, and they laugh at the system they beat.

And you’d sure better not be doing it because it’s a way to make a living, ’cause that ain’t always going to be easy. You got to believe it, believe in the music. You got to mean it.

There’s never been anything like the so-called Vietnam Syndrome: it’s mostly a fabrication.

Never was anything great achieved without danger.

America wasn’t founded so that we could all be better. America was founded so we could all be anything we damned well pleased.

It is a tremendous act of violence to begin anything.

My dad died when I was young; my mom remarried with more haste than sense to a fellow… he wasn’t evil or anything, but he was worthless.

I always say what I think to be amusing.

When somebody has convinced you that you’re not worth anything to anybody anymore, and they spend a lot of time doing it, you start believing it yourself.

I was desperate for new material, so anything I can write a joke about that works is in the act. No matter who it offends, or who it bothers – doesn’t matter if its something my wife hates.