“Define yourself by what you love.”

It’s an incredibly exciting thing, this one, meaningless life of yours.

We must think critically, and not just about the ideas of others. Be hard on your beliefs.

Faith is the denial of observation so that belief can be preserved.

Please don’t make the mistake of thinking that the arts and sciences are at odds with one another. That is a recent, stupid and damaging idea.

You know what they call alternative medicine that’s been proved to work? – Medicine.

Only a ginger, can call another ginger Ginger.

How does it so fail to hold our attention that we have to diminish it with the invention of cheap, man-made myths and monsters?

Science is not a body of knowledge nor a system of belief.

Be demonstrative and generous in your praise of those you admire.

I will judge you on how you treat the least powerful. So there.

Who’s the world going to revolve around now?

Send thank-you cards and give standing ovations. Be pro-stuff, not just anti-stuff.

If anyone can show me one example in the history of the world of a single spiritual person who has been able to show either empirically or logicall.

A genius is a mentally ill person with an audience

You don’t have to be unscientific to make beautiful art or to write beautiful things…

The day they discover yoga mats are carcinogenic will be the happiest day of my life.

It’s impossible to explain to a Yankee what `tacky’ is. They simply have no word for it up north, but my God, do they ever need one.

From the very beginning, I wrote to explain my own life to myself, and I invited any readers who chose to make the journey with me to join me on the high wire.

We must be careful not to choose, but to let God’s Holy Spirit manage our lives; not to smooth down and explain away.

It is explained that all relationships require a little give and take. This is untrue. Any partnership demands that we give and give and give and at the last, as we flop into our graves exhausted, we are told that we didn’t give enough.

Chronicles are not explanatory of what they record.

I’ve done a great job at being universal in my stand-up, which is why, for ‘Let Me Explain,’ I toured all over the world. These movies I have coming out – ‘Ride Along,’ ‘Grudge Match,’ ‘About Last Night,’ ‘Think Like a Man Too’ – are putting me in a position to become universal on an even bigger scale.

I can’t explain to you what it’s like to be a heartthrob. I don’t think I am a heartthrob.

It takes less time to do a thing right, than it does to explain why you did it wrong.