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Shave off your beard and wear a dress. You would be a great female impersonator.

Simon Cowell

I think the best singers in the world, historically, are American. Britain’s got its fair share, as well, but some of the greatest singers, ever, whether you’re talking about Whitney Houston or Mariah Carey or Aretha Franklin, are from the legacy here.
SIMON COWELL

Country Legacy People Talking Thinking
I have always hated celebrities lecturing people on politics.
SIMON COWELL

Hated Lecturing People
I couldn’t think of anything worse than being in an unhappy marriage. It worries me because I’ve seen it destroy people.
SIMON COWELL

People Thinking Worry
I suggest we bring some normality back to this country and say if you are carrying a knife, there must be zero tolerance. If it was up to me, everyone caught with a knife would get an automatic ten year sentence.
SIMON COWELL

Country Years Zero
I actually don’t understand a word Paula’s saying anymore. It’s like a new language.
SIMON COWELL

Country Hilarious Language People
I get very anti-social, depressed and irritable with people. I don’t have time for them. I can’t make phone calls and stuff. I just sit on my own for days.
SIMON COWELL

People Phones Stuff
I didn’t have any qualifications when I left school – I had three O-levels.
SIMON COWELL

Levels School Three
I have total respect for anyone who discovers a band like Snow Patrol. I would be hopeless at signing a rock band, or anything alternative, cause I don’t know what that audience are into and I don’t particularly like that kind of music.
SIMON COWELL

Alternatives Country People Rocks Snow
Harshness to me is giving somebody false hopes and not following through. That’s harsh. Telling some guy or some girl who’ve got zero talent that they have zero talent actually is a kindness.
SIMON COWELL

Girl Kindness Zero
It would hurt my feelings if I respected your opinions.
SIMON COWELL

Feelings Hurt Opinion
Britain’s got talent, enormous talent, that’s very obvious.
SIMON COWELL

Britain Enormous Talent
You sounded like someone who should be singing on a cruise ship. Halfway through your song, I wished the ship was sinking.
SIMON COWELL

Ships Singing Song
You sounded like Dolly parton on helium.” (After kristy lee cook of season 7 on american idol,sang her country rendition of the Beatles'”Eight Days A Week.)
SIMON COWELL

Country Eight Idols Season
There’s one argument that says we shouldn’t be putting these kids on under the age of 16. I think you’ve got to take it case by case.
SIMON COWELL

Age Country Kids People Thinking
There’s no need for me to get married. I live with someone; we’re happy; end of story.
SIMON COWELL

Married Needs Stories
I think if you’re an unhappy person, you’re always going to be an unhappy person. You’re probably going to be less unhappy if your business is doing well, if I’m being honest.
SIMON COWELL

Honest Person Thinking Unhappy
You don’t hate the mosquito; you just want it out of your face.
SIMON COWELL

Hate Mosquitoes Want
I don’t mind competition at all. I mean, the record business is the most competitive business in the world, probably. So I’m used to that. In a weird way, it kind of makes you work harder.
SIMON COWELL

Competition Hard Mean Work
The end of the animal trade would leave more time to trap or beat to death pop star wannabes.
SIMON COWELL

Animals Stars
I’ve had Botox, but then again pretty much everyone I know has. To me, Botox is no more unusual than toothpaste. It works. You do it once a year – who cares?
SIMON COWELL

Botox Cares Who Years
Anything I shouldn’t laugh at makes me laugh. I mean, I’m bad at that, when somebody is singing something terribly and I’m thinking to myself, ‘If I laugh now, this is the absolute worst thing I could ever do,’ and then I start laughing and I can’t stop.
SIMON COWELL

Laughing Mean Thinking
Have I got a black book? Yes, it’s called a mobile phone. I do get offers. There is no shortage of people if you want to go on dates – working in TV, living in L.A., it is there if you want it.
SIMON COWELL

Book Country People Phones
I love producing shows. And so when you’re on a show where other people are making decisions you don’t necessarily agree with it, after a while you start to feel like a passenger.
SIMON COWELL

Decisions People Shows
The only magazines I read are car magazines.
SIMON COWELL

Car Magazines Only
I like to know why a video has suddenly gone viral, why a song has broken, why a TV show is suddenly rating out of pattern… I’m pretty good at understanding why things are becoming popular.
SIMON COWELL

Broken Shows Song Television
What I would argue in my defence is that shows like Britain’s Got Talent and The X Factor have actually got people more interested in music again and are sending more people into record stores.
SIMON COWELL

Arguing People Records
My advice would be if you want to pursue a career in the music business, don’t.
SIMON COWELL

Advice Business Careers

Shave off your beard and wear a dress. You would be a great female impersonator.

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Shave off your beard and wear a dress. You would be a great female impersonator.

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Popular Authors

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