“It’s a funny thing that when a man hasn’t anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.”

Poetry is a way of taking life by the throat.

By faithfully working eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.

Take care to sell your horse before he dies. The art of life is passing losses on.

Take care to sell your horse before he dies. The art of life is passing losses on.

For dear me, why abandon a belief Merely because it ceases to be true.

The only certain freedom’s in departure.

Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee, and I’ll forgive Thy great big one on me.

The chief reason for going to school is to get the impression fixed for life that there is a book side for everything.

If one by one we counted people out, for the least sin, it wouldn’t take us long to get so we had no one left to live with. For to be social is to be forgiving.

The worst disease which can afflict executives in their work is not, as popularly supposed, alcoholism; it’s egotism.

They cannot scare me with their empty spaces.

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

The old dog barks backward without getting up I can remember when he was a pup.

If we couldn’t laugh, we would all go insane.

Unless you are educated in metaphor, you are not safe to be let loose in the world.

Half the world is composed of people who have something to say and can’t, and the other half who have nothing to say and keep on saying it.