“You can have peace. Or you can have freedom. Don’t ever count on having both at once.”

A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity.

Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own…

Never insult anyone by accident.

The difference between science and the fuzzy subjects is that science requires reasoning while those other subjects merely require scholarship.

The only solution known to science is to provide the patient with an isolation room, where he can endure the acute stages in private and where food can be poked in to him with a stick.

Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.

It is a truism that almost any sect, cult, or religion will legislate its creed into law if it acquires the political power to do so.

An armed society is a polite society.

One man’s theology is another man’s belly laugh.

Manners are good when one may have to back up his acts with his life.

Theology is never any help; it is searching in a dark cellar at midnight for a black cat that isn’t there.

It’s an indulgence to sit in a room and discuss your beliefs as if they were a juicy piece of gossip.

One could write a history of science in reverse by assembling the solemn pronouncements of highest authority about what could not be done and could never happen.

The universe never did make sense; I suspect it was built on government contract.

When a place gets crowded enough to require ID’s, social collapse is not far away. It is time to go elsewhere.

Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.

Sleep and watchfulness, both of them, when immoderate, constitute disease.

The path to decision may be hard because it leads into the territory of both finiteness and groundlessness—domains soaked in anxiety.

If you take a needle and stick her in the booty and take a needle and stick me in the booty, we’re both going to say ouch.

But theater, because of its nature, both text, images, multimedia effects, has a wider base of communication with an audience. That’s why I call it the most social of the various art forms.

Few things linger longer or become more indwelling than that feeling of both completion and emptiness when a great book ends. That the book accompanies the reader forever from that day forward is part of literature’s profligate generosity.

I’m not going to impugn anyone’s integrity. I’m not going to attack their character. And, in fact, I will happily praise both Donald Trump and Marco Rubio as men who I admire, as people who I’m not going to go personal with them.

In life, winning and losing will both happen. What is never acceptable is quitting.

I’m on a team with LeBron James and Chris Bosh, and they both dress well. It gets competitive. If I don’t bring my A game, they’re going to outshine me.