Year Quotes

I’m eighteen years behind in my ironing. There’s no use doing it now, it doesn’t fit anybody I know.

So here you are, in your twenties, thinking that you’ll have another 40 years to go.

I take thee to be my wedded husband,’ really mean, ‘I promise thee to cook three meals a day for 60 years; thee will I clean up after; thee will I talk to even when thou art not listening; thee will I worry about, cry over and take all manner of hurts from.

I had a financial page to write in the Mail on Sunday where Id give tips on shares. I worked there for two and a half years. Nothing compares to the burst of energy felt on a newsroom floor when a big story breaks.

I’ve read a lot of really great characters in some really crappy stories, where I said, like, ‘Boy I could shine here, but the story sucks.’ I don’t want to be part of that.

For 35 years I was a writer. I wrote a lot of jokes. Some of them weren’t funny. Some of them weren’t appropriate. Some of them were downright offensive. I understand that.

I’m friends with James Cameron. We’ve spent time together over the years because he is a diver and explorer and in his heart of hearts a biologist. We run into each other at scientific conferences.

I wrestled at the Staples Centre at ‘Monday Night Raw’ when I was 21 years old.

2004 has to be my year. No more excuses.

We need a war every 10 years, so we can stay match fit in case the Germans try again.