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Hollywood is a place where a man can get stabbed in the back while climbing a ladder.

I get an urge, like a pregnant elephant, to go away and give birth to a book.

One of the reasons surgeons have so much trouble separating Siamese twins is that nobody gets to do many of them. On the table, the anatomy is so different from normal, that you’re constantly trying to figure out, ‘Can I cut this? Does this wire lead to what?’ It’s like trying to defuse a bomb.

They’re calling me. I’m getting nonstop e-mails and calls now from people that have been scammed by Donald Trump. And their stories are heartbreaking.

Pentecost came with the sound of a mighty rushing wind, a violent blast from heaven! Heaven has not exhausted its blasts, but our danger is we are getting frightened of them.

Rhetoric does not get you anywhere, because Hitler and Mussolini are just as good at rhetoric. But if you can bring these people down with comedy, they stand no chance.

It’s amazing that Bill Clinton could do one thing and have sex with his secretary and really get away with it and still be powerful.

When you’re the commander in chief, you’re the commander in chief on day one. You don’t get like a six-month grace period.

I can’t get too offended when somebody parodies me.

When you play quarterback, you have to process information quickly, get the ball out of your hand to the right guy.