Bill Engvall Quotes

The older you get, the more people think they have to listen to you.

He knows all the golf lingo. You know? You hit your ball, he’s like “there’s a golf shot. That’s a golf shot.” Well of course it’s a golf shot; I just hit a golf ball. You don’t see Gretzky skating around going “there’s a hockey shot, that’s a hockey shot.”

Ketchup is great on hamburgers, but if some gets on your shirt, that does not make your shirt also a hamburger.

Oh, what a great day that was! You got to be God. You decided who lived, who died.