I feel sorry for them, since none of them understand what it’s like to have a song just get into your soul and become your whole world. ADAM SELZER SinceSorryWhole
Even at concerts people pay good money for, instead of a three-dollar cover charge, they talk through the whole thing. ADAM SELZER ConcertDollarThingThroughWhole
A long time ago, Trinity and I made a list of types of guys you should never date. ADAM SELZER LongMadeReligiousType
The bill passed anyway, though, much to the chagrin of a certain wiener from Virginia. ADAM SELZER BillCharginMuchPassedVirginiaWiener
Never date a guy who has a pet lizard (he’s probably into weird stuff in bed) and never under any circumstances go on a second date with a guy who says the word “married” on the first date (he’ll turn out to be a mama’s boy or a religious type) ADAM SELZER CircumstanceLizardMarriedPetStuffWird
Wow,” says Peter, “when your guidance counselor tells you to die, you really have problems. ADAM SELZER CounselorGuidanceTellWowYou
If you really like someone, it doesn’t matter what their mouth feels or tastes like. ADAM SELZER FeelKissingSomeone
