Life was a funny thing that happened to me on the way to the grave.
QUENTIN CRISPThe war between the sexes is the only one in which both sides regularly sleep with the enemy.
More Quentin Crisp Quotes
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If at first you don’t succeed, failure may be your style.
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Ask yourself, if there was to be no blame, and if there was to be no praise, who would I be then?
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It’s a strange situation, but people will pay your fare to get you to go and tell them how to be happy.
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Health consists of having the same diseases as one’s neighbors.
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There is no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dirt doesn’t get any worse.
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Nothing shortens a journey so pleasantly as an account of misfortunes at which the hearer is permitted to laugh.
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What would you be like if you were the only person in the world? If you want to be truly happy you must be that person.
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When I was young, we thought that Oscar Wilde was a great nobleman who had thrown his life away for love. Nothing could be less true. He slept with East Enders who were procured for him by Lord Alfred Douglas.
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Fashion is a way of not having to decide who you are. Style is deciding who you are and being able to perpetuate it.
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The war between the sexes is the only one in which both sides regularly sleep with the enemy.
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You will survive if you believe in yourself.
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Exhibitionism is like a drug. Hooked in adolescence I was now taking doses so massive they would have killed a novice.
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The key is never, never work. Nothing is more aging than work. It’s not only the strain of getting up in the morning for work, but it’s the resentment that settles on your face
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As we all know from witnessing the consuming jealousy of husbands who are never faithful, people do not confine themselves to the emotions to which they are entitled.
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Men get laid, but women get screwed.
QUENTIN CRISP