Assoon as I stepped out of my mother’s womb on to dry land, I realized that I had made a mistake?but the trouble with children is that they are not returnable.
QUENTIN CRISPFlowers are words even a baby can understand.
More Quentin Crisp Quotes
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Nothing shortens a journey so pleasantly as an account of misfortunes at which the hearer is permitted to laugh.
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One should always be wary of anyone who promises that their love will last longer than a weekend.
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Look inward and ask not if there is anything outside you want, but whether there is anything inside that you have not yet unpacked.
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If a man were to look over the fence on one side of his garden and observe that the neighbor on his left had laid his garden path round a central lawn; and were to look over the fence on the other side of his garden and observe that the neighbor on his right had laid his path down the middle of the lawn.
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I recommend limiting one’s involvement in other people’s lives to a pleasantly scant minimum. This may seem too stoical a position in these madly passionate times, but madly passionate people rarely make good on their madly passionate promises.
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The key is never, never work. Nothing is more aging than work. It’s not only the strain of getting up in the morning for work, but it’s the resentment that settles on your face
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Nothing in our culture, not even home computers, is more overrated than the epidermal felicity of two featherless bipeds in desperate congress.
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Fashion is not style. Nay, we can say more: Fashion is instead of style. Style is an idiom springing spontaneously from the personality but deliberately maintained.
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I simply haven’t the nerve to imagine a being, a force, a cause which keeps the planets revolving in their orbits and then suddenly stops in order to give me a bicycle with three speeds.
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Politics are not an instrument for effecting social change; they are the art of making the inevitable appear to be a matter of wise human choice.
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Ask yourself, if there was to be no blame, and if there was to be no praise, who would I be then?
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It is explained that all relationships require a little give and take. This is untrue. Any partnership demands that we give and give and give and at the last, as we flop into our graves exhausted, we are told that we didn’t give enough.
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Never get involved with someone who wants to change you
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I take it to be axiomatic that people are revolted by witnessing the shameless gratification of an appetite they do not share.
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The trouble with European cities is that they are drenched in their history, almost all of which is terrible.
QUENTIN CRISP