We need a government, alas, because of the nature of humans.
P. J. O'ROURKEThank you, Occupy Wall Street. With your vivid example of anticapitalist squalor, I’ve been able to convince all three of my children to become investment bankers.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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The budget doesn’t have much control over the government. Then again, the government doesn’t have much control over the budget.
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Catchphrases flourish in contemporary American English.
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Russians not only vehemently despise blacks, they believe Africa begins at the Ukraine border.
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No industry in living memory has collapsed faster than daily print journalism.
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I know quite a few fellow members of the news analysis and commentary business, and I have it from the highest-placed sources, on the record, that each and every one of our children is a genius.
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Staying married may have long-term benefits. You can elicit much more sympathy from friends over a bad marriage than you ever can from a good divorce.
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The world is being run by irresponsible spoiled brats.
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Finland is a rich country. What have they got? They got Nokia phones and plywood. How’d they get so rich? Because they’re free.
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Political leaders are expert at saying nothing.
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Liberals are always proposing perfectly insane ideas, laws that will make everybody happy, laws that will make everything right, make us live forever, and all be rich. Conservatives are never that stupid.
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Head lice have their own animal-rights group, or may as well. The National Pediculosis Association doesn’t exactly advocate letting lice live with dignity, but it does oppose pediculicidal treatments.
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When elites see a homeless person in the gutter, they assume he’s saving a parking place.
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The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop.
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You’re never going to read ‘The Wealth of Nations,’ and you shouldn’t, really. It’s 900 pages.
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Never fight an inanimate object.
P. J. O'ROURKE