black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

Thank you, Occupy Wall Street. With your vivid example of anticapitalist squalor, I’ve been able to convince all three of my children to become investment bankers.

P. J. O'Rourke

The good news is that, according to the Obama administration, the rich will pay for everything. The bad news is that, according to the Obama administration, you’re rich.
P. J. O'ROURKE

According Everything Good News President Richm Pay
I know quite a few fellow members of the news analysis and commentary business, and I have it from the highest-placed sources, on the record, that each and every one of our children is a genius.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Analysis Commentary Fellow High Member News Place Quite Source
Politics is a necessary evil, or a necessary annoyance, a necessary conundrum.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Annoyance Conundrum Necessary Politics
I was very much in favor of the Iraq invasion.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Country Favor Invasion Mush
They are just really stupid people in Hollywood. You write them a script, and they say they love it, they absolutely love it. Then they say, ‘But doesn’t it need a small dog, and an Eskimo, and shouldn’t it be set in New Guinea?’ And you say, ‘But it is a sophisticated romantic comedy set in Paris.’
P. J. O'ROURKE

Absolute Love People Really Say Script Stupid Write
Liberals are always proposing perfectly insane ideas, laws that will make everybody happy, laws that will make everything right, make us live forever, and all be rich. Conservatives are never that stupid.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Everybody Everything Happy Idea Insane Law Liberal
Never fight an inanimate object.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Fight Inanimate never Object
The problem in Afghanistan is really not so much land as water. It’s a dry country with ample amounts of water running through it, but not to good enough effect.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Amount Ample But Country Dry Land Much Problem Run Water
To mistrust science and deny the validity of scientific method is to resign your job as a human. You’d better go look for work as a plant or wild animal.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Better Human Method Mistrust Resign Science Validity Work
Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Animal Children Eat Exception Human Purpose
Agriculture is a business that has been up to its bib overalls in politics since the first Thanksgiving dinner kickback to the Indians for subsidizing Pilgrim maize production with fish head fertilizer grants.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Agriculture Business Dinner Fertilizer Grant Indian Overall Politics Thanksgiving
Fiscal conservatism is just an easy way to express something that is a bit more difficult, which is that the size and scope of government, and really the size and scope of politics in our lives, has grown uncomfortable, unwieldy, intrusive and inefficient.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Bit Difficult Express Fiction Government More Past Size Something
Death is so important that God visited death upon his own son, thereby helping us learn right from wrong well enough that we may escape death forever and live eternally in God’s grace.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Death Enough Escape God Help Important Jeep Son Therefore Wrong
When I’m in the car, I want the only one shouting to be me.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Car Only Shout
The budget doesn’t have much control over the government. Then again, the government doesn’t have much control over the budget.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Again Budget Control Government Much Over
I’m too tough and sensitive to have to have some pubescent twerp with his mom’s earring in his tongue, who combs his hair with Redi-Whip and has an Ani DiFranco tattoo on his shin, come show me how a computer works.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Earn Earring Mom Pubescent Sensitive Some Tongue Toug Twerp

Thank you, Occupy Wall Street. With your vivid example of anticapitalist squalor, I’ve been able to convince all three of my children to become investment bankers.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

Thank you, Occupy Wall Street. With your vivid example of anticapitalist squalor, I’ve been able to convince all three of my children to become investment bankers.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes