I’m too tough and sensitive to have to have some pubescent twerp with his mom’s earring in his tongue, who combs his hair with Redi-Whip and has an Ani DiFranco tattoo on his shin, come show me how a computer works.
P. J. O'ROURKEI like making things. I have a wood shop at home. I am a terrible carpenter but I love doing it.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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The best and brightest don’t go into politics. The best and brightest are at Goldman Sachs.
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Everybody in the Middle East wants to explain why they’re right.
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The beauty of democracy is that an average, random, unremarkable citizen can lead it.
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Will Generation X and the Millennials do a better job running the world than the boomers have? Let’s hope so.
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The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year’s Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you’re married to.
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Wealth brings great benefits to the world. Rich people are heros.
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All change is bad. But sometimes it has to be done.
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I like fiction and the kind of history that gives the grace and flavor of fiction to the past. No bloviation on current events, please. I can write that junk myself.
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Let’s reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools – and use it on the teachers.
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Politics is a necessary evil, or a necessary annoyance, a necessary conundrum.
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The budget doesn’t have much control over the government. Then again, the government doesn’t have much control over the budget.
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Finland is a rich country. What have they got? They got Nokia phones and plywood. How’d they get so rich? Because they’re free.
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Gossip is what you say about the objects of flattery when they aren’t present.
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You’re stupid,’ is not something even his most severe critics usually say to President Barack Obama.
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Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
P. J. O'ROURKE






