America wasn’t founded so that we could all be better. America was founded so we could all be anything we damned well pleased.
P. J. O'ROURKEThe best and brightest don’t go into politics. The best and brightest are at Goldman Sachs.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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The Clinton administration launched an attack on people in Texas because those people were religious nuts with guns. Hell, this country was founded by religious nuts with guns. Who does Bill Clinton think stepped ashore on Plymouth Rock?
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Everybody is xenophobic to an extent.
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The people who despise America are the editors of the ‘New Statesman.’ Their green-card applications must have been turned down.
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A fundamental American question is, ‘What’s the big idea?’
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Southern California is a nice place, if you could cut out the show-business cancer. It just keeps spreading.
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The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore.
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There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.
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Never wear anything that panics the cat.
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Seriousness is stupidity sent to college.
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Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.
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Gossip is what you say about the objects of flattery when they aren’t present.
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Whatever it is that the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government does it to somebody else. This is the idea behind foreign policy.
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The weirder you’re going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person.
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Some people think that welfare reform should have hurt Bill Clinton with black voters.
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Death is so important that God visited death upon his own son, thereby helping us learn right from wrong well enough that we may escape death forever and live eternally in God’s grace.
P. J. O'ROURKE






