“A straw vote only shows which way the hot air blows.”

Hospitality in the prairie country is not limited. Even if your enemy passes your way, you must feed him before you shoot him.

If you can’t write a story that pleases yourself, you will never please the public. But in writing the story forget the public.

It’s said that love makes the world go around. Let me tell you, the announcement lacks verification. It’s the wind from the dinner horn that does it.

Except in streetcars one should never be unnecessarily rude to a lady.

When I see a shipwreck, I like to know what caused the disaster. I learned nothing but the glow that wrapped her face when the soup came. That’s the story.

Turn up the lights. I don’t want to go home in the dark.

We can’t buy one minute of time with cash; if we could, rich people would live longer.

Humans were denied the speech of animals. The only common ground of communication upon which dogs and men can get together is in fiction.

If you live in an atmosphere of luxury, luxury is yours whether your money pays for it, or another’s.

It was beautiful and simple, as truly great swindles are.

To a woman nothing seems quite impossible to the powers of the man she worships.

Perhaps there is no happiness in life so perfect as the martyr’s.

We may achieve climate, but weather is thrust upon us.

If man knew how women pass the time when they are alone, they’d never marry.

Young artists must pave their way to Art by drawing pictures for magazine stories that young authors write to pave their way to Literature.

There is a saying that no man has tasted the full flavor of life until he has known poverty, love, and war.

We are all born in the same way but we all die in different ways.

Nowadays, politically, everybody is promising everything. That’s the only way you can get elected.

The way in which the vast mass of the poor are treated by modern society is truly scandalous. They are herded into great cities where they breathe a fouler air than in the countryside which they have left.

I was born a Scotsman and a bare one. Therefore I was born to fight my way in the world.

There’s no time to discriminate, hate every motherfucker that’s in your way.

There’s only one way to work — like hell.

We have to continually be jumping off cliffs and developing our wings on the way down.

In a way, you are poetry material; You are full of cloudy subtleties I am willing to spend a lifetime figuring out. Words burst in your essence and you carry their dust in the pores of your ethereal individuality.