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I enjoy making people laugh. The trick is to tell them jokes against yourself. If you praise yourself, your stories aren’t funny.

Michael Caine

My father was a fish market porter. So I grew up on fish, because he used to steal one a day, I grew up on the very best fish that money could buy, ’cause he only stole the good stuff.
MICHAEL CAINE

Father Food Goodness Growth Money Myself Occupation Steal
Don’t sit as if you have nothing to say. You should be bursting with things to say. You just choose at this particular place and time, not to say them.
MICHAEL CAINE

Choice Place Time Yourself
People say to me, why did you do those films, and I say, for money. It wasn’t for diamond rings or kidney shaped swimming pools in Beverly Hills, it was in order to improve the lot of everyone around me.
MICHAEL CAINE

Diamond Gemstone Improvement Money Movie Myself People
I am a great admirer of other actors, but I never compete with other actors. I always compete with what I did last, and I’m my own most vicious critic. So I’m always trying to do it better.
MICHAEL CAINE

Actor Better Compete Criticism Greatness Myself Try
When I look in the mirror, I see someone who’s happy with how he looks, because I was never one of the handsome Hollywood people. And I’ve had success as I’ve gotten older, because I’m able to play characters. I no longer get the girl, but I get the part.
MICHAEL CAINE

Character Happiness Mirror Myself People Play
To me, growing old is great. It’s the very best thing – considering the alternative.
MICHAEL CAINE

Alternative Best Growth Myself Old
I have never seen it but by all accounts it is terrible. However, I have seen the house that it built and it is terrific.
MICHAEL CAINE

Account Built Myself See Sight Terrible Terrific
A man’s body may grow old, but inside his spirit can still be as young and as restless as ever.
MICHAEL CAINE

Body Growth Man Old Spirit Young
I’m every bourgeois nightmare – a Cockney with intelligence and a million dollars.
MICHAEL CAINE

Intelligence Money Myself Nightmare
My understanding of women goes only as far as the pleasures.
MICHAEL CAINE

Happiness Understand Woman
I feel like 35. At 35 you’re old enough to know something and young enough to look forward to what you can do with the knowledge. So I stayed at 35!
MICHAEL CAINE

Enough Feeling Knowledge Myself Old Stay
I’ve had such a great time, I’d like to come back as me – and do it all over again.
MICHAEL CAINE

Fulfill Greatness Life Time
My most useful acting tip came from my pal John Wayne. Talk low, talk slow, and don’t say too much.
MICHAEL CAINE

Act Advice Friendship Low Slow Talk
Be patient.Of course it will come. It took me years to get an Oscar.
MICHAEL CAINE

Myself Patience Reward Time
I don’t see myself as anything. I just wander around getting on with my life.
MICHAEL CAINE

Life Myself See Sight
A man should dress in a way that you don’t notice. He looks good and you don’t know why. But it’s the tailoring, the materials, and the clothes.
MICHAEL CAINE

Clothes Himself Man Material Notice Way

I enjoy making people laugh. The trick is to tell them jokes against yourself. If you praise yourself, your stories aren’t funny.

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I enjoy making people laugh. The trick is to tell them jokes against yourself. If you praise yourself, your stories aren’t funny.

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Popular Authors

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