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I enjoy making people laugh. The trick is to tell them jokes against yourself. If you praise yourself, your stories aren’t funny.

Michael Caine

I am a great admirer of other actors, but I never compete with other actors. I always compete with what I did last, and I’m my own most vicious critic. So I’m always trying to do it better.
MICHAEL CAINE

Actor Better Compete Criticism Greatness Myself Try
I don’t have any regrets because I’m very optimistic, and live each day as though it’s the last.
MICHAEL CAINE

Day Myself Optimistic Regret
You’ve got to be flexible. Directors do a massive amount of planning and homework, and if after all that your director decides to throw it all out of the window and shoot spontaneously, then you must follow his lead.
MICHAEL CAINE

Director Follow Home Leadership Planning Window Yourself
I don’t think human beings are bad. They’re weak. And that’s what makes ’em bad.
MICHAEL CAINE

Bad Character Human Myself Thinking Weakness
Books were my window on the world. Growing up at the Elephant and Castle, which was very rough, my paradise was the library.
MICHAEL CAINE

Book Castle Library Myself Window World
I was so poor for so long that I didn’t use anything. I didn’t drive cars, I didn’t eat very much. So, I figured the world owed me a debt, so I’ve been eating very well and have had a very big car for a long time. But I still haven’t caught up with my youth.
MICHAEL CAINE

Age Car Drive Eat Myself Poor Youth
When I look in the mirror, I see someone who’s happy with how he looks, because I was never one of the handsome Hollywood people. And I’ve had success as I’ve gotten older, because I’m able to play characters. I no longer get the girl, but I get the part.
MICHAEL CAINE

Character Happiness Mirror Myself People Play
I usually control the environment I’m in, but my control is very quiet and subtle.
MICHAEL CAINE

Control Environment Myself Quiet Subtle
I don’t see myself as anything. I just wander around getting on with my life.
MICHAEL CAINE

Life Myself See Sight
When becoming a character, you have to steal. Steal whatever you see. You can even steal from other actors’ characterizations; but if you do, only steal from the best.
MICHAEL CAINE

Best Character Steal Yourself
I enjoy making people laugh. The trick is to tell them jokes against yourself. If you praise yourself, your stories aren’t funny.
MICHAEL CAINE

Enjoyment Funny Laughter People Praise Story Yourself
I’ve never been out with a married woman, never. I respect others’ properties.
MICHAEL CAINE

Marriage Myself Property Respect Togetherness Woman
Be like a duck. Calm on the surface, but always paddling like the dickens underneath.
MICHAEL CAINE

Calm Hard Work Hustle Myself Surface
I never regret anything. I always said that when I’m old, I want to be sitting there regretting the things that I did and not the things that I didn’t do; and now I’m old, and I don’t regret anything! I had fun. I had fun, and I’m still having it.
MICHAEL CAINE

Fun Life Myself Old Regard Regret Talk
Funny things happen to you in movies for silly reasons.
MICHAEL CAINE

Funny Movie Scene Yourself
Theater acting is an operation with a scalpel, movie acting is an operation with a laser.
MICHAEL CAINE

Movie Operation Theatre

I enjoy making people laugh. The trick is to tell them jokes against yourself. If you praise yourself, your stories aren’t funny.

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I enjoy making people laugh. The trick is to tell them jokes against yourself. If you praise yourself, your stories aren’t funny.

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