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The joy is an absurd yellow tulip, popping up in my life, contradicting all the evidence that shows it should not be there.

Marya Hornbacher

You wake up one morning and there it is, sitting in an old plaid bathrobe in your kitchen, unpleasant and unshaved. You look at it, heart sinking. Madness is a rotten guest.
MARYA HORNBACHER

Heart Kitchen Morning
You can only whine for so long. Then you need to get your life back.
MARYA HORNBACHER

Back Life Long Need Time
Hatred is so much closer to love than indifference.
MARYA HORNBACHER

Closer Hatred Indifference
Children take in more information than we’d like to believe.
MARYA HORNBACHER

Believe Children Information
That’s the nice thing about dreams, the way you wake up before you fall.
MARYA HORNBACHER

Dream Fall Nice
We turn skeletons into goddesses and look to them as if they might teach us how not to need.
MARYA HORNBACHER

Anorexia Disorder Eating Skeletons
You will miss her sometimes. Bear in mind she’s trying to kill you. Bear in mind you have a life to live.
MARYA HORNBACHER

Anorexia Mind Miss
The joy is an absurd yellow tulip, popping up in my life, contradicting all the evidence that shows it should not be there.
MARYA HORNBACHER

Contradicting Joy Yellow
I know how this feels: the tightening of the chest, the panic, the what-have-I-done-wait-I-was-kidding. Eating disorders linger so long undetected, eroding the body in silence, and then they strike. The secret is out. You’re dying.
MARYA HORNBACHER

Long Silence Waiting
When you are mad, mad like this, you don’t know it. Reality is what you see. When what you see shifts, departing from anyone else’s reality, it’s still reality to you.
MARYA HORNBACHER

Depression Mad Reality
The anoretic operates under the astounding illusion that she can escape the flesh, and, by association, the realm of emotions.
MARYA HORNBACHER

Anorexia Association Flesh
My brain sometimes departs from the agreed-upon reality, and my private reality is a very lonely place. But in the end, I’m not sure I wish I’d never gone there.
MARYA HORNBACHER

Brain Lonely Reality
The fact that you were essentially dead does not register until you begin to come alive.
MARYA HORNBACHER

Alive Essential Fact
Me and my needs were driving my mother away. Me and my needs retreated to my closet, disappeared into fairy tales. I started making up a world where my needs wouldn´t exist at all.
MARYA HORNBACHER

Mother Needs World
After a lifetime of silence, it is difficult then to speak.
MARYA HORNBACHER

Lifetime Silence Speak
I know for a fact that sickness is easier, but health is more interesting.
MARYA HORNBACHER

Fact Interesting Sickness

The joy is an absurd yellow tulip, popping up in my life, contradicting all the evidence that shows it should not be there.

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The joy is an absurd yellow tulip, popping up in my life, contradicting all the evidence that shows it should not be there.

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