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Everyone thinks I’m Jewish. I’m not. Last year I got a call: “Happy Hanukkah.” I said “Ma, I’m not Jewish.”

Joy Behar

I want a man in my life, not in my house.
JOY BEHAR

House Men Want
I don’t profess to be an expert on anything, or have the memory for who ran in 1952. I am an informed American citizen, that’s my position.
JOY BEHAR

Citizen Expert Memories
I do like talk shows. I’m interested in talking to people.
JOY BEHAR

People Shows Talking
Monogamy is monotonous, but it’s safe you know. And that’s my philosophy. And I like to convey that to people.
JOY BEHAR

People Philosophy Safe
You know, I’m a comedian the same as Bill Maher and Jon Stewart. We all came up the same way. The three of us have interest in politics; I call us fundits, we’re fundits! We’re not pundits!
JOY BEHAR

Bills Comedian Three
Statistically, skinny women die younger than fat women. Why? Because fat women are killing them.
JOY BEHAR

Killing Skinny Weight
Have four things going. I have stand-up comedy, two television shows and I’m working on a play. I like to work, and I fear that something could fall through. You know what they say: ‘The show must go off.
JOY BEHAR

Fall Fear Play Two Working
I think it’s interesting to me to talk to people who don’t agree with me all the time.
JOY BEHAR

Interesting People Thinking
You can see a lot of politics on a lot of different channels. I’m not interested, really, in talking in some wonky conversation about politics, though. It’s not my speed. I’m not interested in the ins and outs of health care.
JOY BEHAR

Care Different Talking
The Republicans do not have feeling for people who are in bad shape.
JOY BEHAR

Feelings People Shapes
I don’t want to do just a liberal show.
JOY BEHAR

Just Shows Want
Isn’t it a little racist to call it Black Friday?
JOY BEHAR

Black Friday Stupid
When people heckle me, I have the microphone. And the press has the microphone.
JOY BEHAR

Microphones People Presses
Everyone thinks I’m Jewish. I’m not. Last year I got a call: “Happy Hanukkah.” I said “Ma, I’m not Jewish.”
JOY BEHAR

Lasts Thinking Years
As Socrates I believe said the unexamined life is not worth living. I believe that’s true. I do believe that.
JOY BEHAR

Believe Life Said

Everyone thinks I’m Jewish. I’m not. Last year I got a call: “Happy Hanukkah.” I said “Ma, I’m not Jewish.”

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Everyone thinks I’m Jewish. I’m not. Last year I got a call: “Happy Hanukkah.” I said “Ma, I’m not Jewish.”

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Joy Behar Quotes