“My report card always said, ‘Jim finishes first and then disrupts the other students’.”

I used to be a guy who was experiencing the Universe, but now I feel like the Universe experiencing a guy.

Energy is what I believe all of us are. We’re just conscious awareness dancing for itself for no other reason but to stay amused.

I don’t make it in regular channels, and that’s okay for me.

Comedy is a high form of art becaus it brings us more joy than anything else.

My life is not unlike Truman’s. I can’t go anywhere.

I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it’s not the answer.

My focus is to forget the pain of life. Forget the pain, mock the pain, reduce it. And laugh.

Beware of the unloved, because they will eventually hurt themselves or others.

I have no limits. I cannot be contained because I am the container.

I got a lot of support from my parents. That’s the one thing I always appreciated. They didn’t tell me I was being stupid; they told me I was being funny.

I don’t remember yesterday. I pretty much live in the moment.

If I’m not back in 5 minutes, just wait longer.

I am heaven.

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

A lot of good love can happen in ten years.

I’m the first to admit this whole salary thing is getting out of control. In the final analysis, it’s still about the work.