When you’ve been in the business 5-years, as a person, it’s like you’re 5-years old – like a child. 10-years and you’re 10-years old, 20… Etcetera. That’s how I measure maturity in this industry.
JERRY SEINFELDWhen you’ve been in the business 5-years, as a person, it’s like you’re 5-years old – like a child. 10-years and you’re 10-years old, 20… Etcetera. That’s how I measure maturity in this industry.
More Jerry Seinfeld Quotes
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The best revenge is living well.
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There are more social skills required to talk one-on-one [than to an audience]. You don’t have to be socially fluid to talk to two thousand people.
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There’s more to life than making shallow, fairly obvious observations.
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Surveys show that the #1 fear of Americans is public speaking. #2 is death. That means that at a funeral, the average American would rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy.
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Once you start doing only what you’ve already proven you can do, you’re on the road to death.
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I’ve been car crazy my whole life, since I was nine years old. It’s just something I’m very aware of.
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Somebody just gave me a shower radio. Thanks a lot. Do you really want music in the shower? I guess there’s no better place to dance than a slick surface next to a glass door.
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I always did well on the essay questions. Just put everything you know on there, maybe you’ll hit it.
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Dogs have no money. Isn’t that amazing? They’re broke their entire lives. But they get through. You know why dogs have no money? .. No Pockets.
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The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk like you because it’s so much fun.
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Your blessing in life is when you find the torture you’re comfortable with.
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What I don’t understand is how women can pour hot wax on their bodies, let it dry, then rip out every single hair by its root and still be scared of spiders.
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If I want a long, boring story with no point to it, I have my life.
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Most people, you do a TV series, it ends three, four, five years later; it’s a relic.
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That’s why breakups take two or three times- to build up immunity.
JERRY SEINFELD