“I figured out something spiritual. Billboard this: ‘Life is supposed to be fun!’”

You don’t need a pickup line. Just glance at a woman from across the room. Glance – don’t stare.

The idea that vaccines are a primary cause of autism is not as crackpot as some might wish. Autism’s 60-fold rise in 30 years matches a tripling of the US vaccine schedule.

I’m free of stress and worries now because if I don’t like something I’m doing, I just find the fun in it instead of being miserable. Let me have fun with the people I work with, let me have fun making money – when I grew up so poor, ya know?

Almost everyone has or will experience getting dumped in their lifetime. Unless, of course, you’re a nun. Jesus can’t dump nuns.

Let me see if I can put this in scientific terms: Think of autism like a fart, and vaccines are the finger you pull to make it happen.

I can’t even begin to tell you how many casting couches I was attacked on. Not just by casting people, but by stars. And when I wouldn’t give them my number, they’d say, “Who the hell do you think you are? You will never make it in this town. I’ll make sure of it.”

When I travel, I like to take advantage of room service. I’m really into eggs Benedict in the morning.

Without a doubt in my mind, I believe that vaccinations triggered Evan’s autism.

So basically, I don’t know what I’m talking about. But maybe I do.

I’m the worst person to tell anybody how to date.

I usually have my protein at lunch and my carbs at night – I don’t mix protein and carbs.

When I was a little girl, rocking my little dolls, I remember thinking I would be the world’s best mom, and so far I’ve done it.

If you give us a safe vaccine, we’ll use it. It shouldn’t be polio versus autism.

I’m the comedic girl next door and a lot of fun.

The University of Google is where I got my degree from.

People don’t see this side of me. They don’t know I read, like, 800 million spiritual books. Lately I am just really getting into a lot of spirituality.