“The joke loses everything when the joker laughs himself.”

To be man’s tender mate was woman born, and in obeying nature she best serves the purposes of heaven.

We can never replace a friend. When a man is fortunate enough to have several, he finds they are all different. No one has a double in friendship.

Against stupidity, God Himself fights in vain.

There is room in the smallest cottage for a happy loving pair.

Honesty prospers in every condition of life.

If you have never seen beauty in a moment of suffering, you have never seen beauty at all. If you have never seen joy in a beautiful face, you have never seen joy at all.

Peace is rarely denied to the peaceful.

The happy man does not notice the flight of time.

The Moor has done his work, the Moor may go.

Strange customs do not thrive in foreign soil.

It may here be justly said, that genuine morality is preserved only in the school of adversity, and a state of continuous prosperity may easily prove a quicksand to virtue.

Freedom exists only with power.

Vast, colossal destiny, which raises man to fame, though it may also grind him to powder!

The dictates of the heart are the voice of fate.

Wise to resolve, patient to perform.

The will of man is his happiness.

Jokes of the proper kind, properly told, can do more to enlighten questions of politics, philosophy, and literature than any number of dull arguments.

I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe’s singing until somebody told me that it wasn’t a joke.

I laughed. Partly at the joke, partly at how Afghan humor never changed. Wars were waged, the Internet was invented, and a robot had rolled on the surface of Mars, and in Afghanistan we were still telling Mullah Nasruddin jokes.

When you can make others laugh with jokes that belittle no one and your words always unite, Hafiz will vote for you to be God.

When I put that first Vine out, I was just doing it for fun; there was no wanting to become an artist.

Some things are so serious, they can only be joked about.

My first Vine I really just posted out of spontaneity.

We don’t apologize for a joke. We are comics. We are here to make you laugh. If you don’t get it, then don’t watch us.