Be kind to one another. Bye, bye.
ELLEN DEGENERESWhat goes up must come down, which is why I don’t wear tube tops.
More Ellen DeGeneres Quotes
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I enjoy growing older and wiser and learning from my mistakes every single day.
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No one is perfect, except for Penélope Cruz.
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Stuffed deer heads on walls are bad enough, but it’s worse when you see them wearing dark glasses, having streamers around their necks and a hat on their antlers. Because then you know they were enjoying themselves at a party when they were shot.
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You have to have funny faces and words, you can’t just have words. It is a powerful thing, and I think that’s why it’s hard for people to imagine that women can do that, be that powerful.
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My dog of 17 years just died. Oh you’re kidding?… Noooo… as funny as that is, I’m not
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Sometimes you can’t see yourself clearly until you see yourself through the eyes of others.
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I was raised in an atmosphere of ‘everything’s fine.’ But as I got older, I was like, ‘Well no, everything’s not fine. There is stuff that’s sad.’ I am a really sensitive person. I think I am too sensitive sometimes.
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In the beginning there was nothing. God said, ‘Let there be light!’ And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better.
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In the 80’s we had high, high, waisted pants, that if they came up any higher they’d have to go up another size, if you know what I mean.
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If someone ever says you’re weird, say thank you.
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I became vegan because I saw footage of what really goes on in the slaughterhouses and on the dairy farms.
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It’s funny how cucumber water can taste so much better than pickle juice, even though they come from the same source.
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Dan: ‘Ah, well, I hope this didn’t have anything to do with me.’ Ellen: ‘No, not unless you played Cat Woman in Batman.
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I cannot imagine not going home to animals. They are the closest thing to God. They don’t harbour resentment.
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So, I bought a new CD and I was trying to get it open but couldn’t with all the layers… I mean plastic and then tape, and the tape is like government tape. It says ‘open here.’ Is that sarcasm?
ELLEN DEGENERES