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What goes up must come down, which is why I don’t wear tube tops.

Ellen DeGeneres

Above all, I strive to be the best I can – to be better than I was yesterday and better tomorrow.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Being Best Tomorrow Yesterday
The thing everyone should realize is that the key to happiness is being happy for yourself and yourself.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Happiness Key Keys Realizing
So be who you really are. Embrace who you are. Literally. Hug yourself. Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Hug Killers Serial Killer
The world is filled with negativity. I want people to watch me and think, “I feel good, and I’m going to make somebody else feel good today.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Feel Good People Thinking
Beauty isn’t between a size zero and a size eight, it is not a number at all. It is not physical.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Eight Numbers Physical Zero
You can always tell when the relationship is over. Little things start getting on your nerves, ‘Would you please stop that! That breathing in and out, it’s so repetitious.’
ELLEN DEGENERES

Breathing Funny Relationship Nerves
I never see the glass half empty because I drink out the bottle
ELLEN DEGENERES

Bottles Glasses Half
I like to try new things because I get bored so easily.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Bored New Things Trying
I was doing stand-up at a restaurant and there was a chalkboard on the street out front. It said, Soup of the Day: Cream of Asparagus. Ellen DeGeneres.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Asparagus Funny Humor
I know that experts say you’re more likely to get hurt crossing the street than you are flying, but that doesn’t make me any less frightened of flying. If anything, it makes me more afraid of crossing the street.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Experts Flying Frightened Hurt Less
Being a teenager and figuring out who you are is hard enough without someone attacking you.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Being Comedian Teenage Yourself
All the commercials on TV today are for antidepressants, for Prozac or Paxil. And they get you right away. “Are you sad? Do you get stressed, do you have anxiety?” “Yes, I have all those things! I’m alive!”
ELLEN DEGENERES

Anxiety Funny Humor
I became vegan because I saw footage of what really goes on in the slaughterhouses and on the dairy farms.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Goes On Saws Vegan
Really, he called me that? Ellen DeGenerate? I’ve been getting that since fourth grade. I guess I’m happy I could give him work.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Funny Giving Humor
I get those fleeting, beautiful moments of inner peace and stillness – and then the other 23 hours and 45 minutes of the day, I’m a human trying to make it through in this world.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Beautiful Inner Peace Trying
It’s funny how cucumber water can taste so much better than pickle juice, even though they come from the same source.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Cucumbers Juice Source Water

What goes up must come down, which is why I don’t wear tube tops.

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What goes up must come down, which is why I don’t wear tube tops.

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