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We can sit and worry about what’s going to happen to us two weeks from now. I’d rather focus on the amazing things happening right in front of us.

Ellen DeGeneres

I know that every time I list something that I am, I am potentially alienating a whole group of people. Publicists and managers will encourage you not to say what political party you belong to, what you eat, what you don’t eat, who you sleep with and all that stuff.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Party People Sleep
I just like observing people – it’s something I’ve done ever since I was a kid, and I got really good at it. That’s a big part of why I became a comedian. My audience is filled with every kind of person you can imagine, and I love that.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Comedians Kids People
The thing everyone should realize is that the key to happiness is being happy for yourself and yourself.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Happiness Key Keys Realizing
We can sit and worry about what’s going to happen to us two weeks from now. I’d rather focus on the amazing things happening right in front of us.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Country Focus People Two Worry
If someone ever says you’re weird, say thank you.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Saying Thank Weird
I don’t really ever live my life in fear. I really live my life in gratitude and feeling positive for the most part.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Feelings Gratitude Life Living
We’re just trying to find happiness in the bodies and minds we were given, like everyone else.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Finding Happiness Mind Trying
It’s funny how cucumber water can taste so much better than pickle juice, even though they come from the same source.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Cucumbers Juice Source Water
I do like men and I had, you know, a guy in high school that I wanted to marry desperately. He’s the mayor of some small town in Texas. I could be the mayor’s wife right now.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Men School Texas
I was doing stand-up at a restaurant and there was a chalkboard on the street out front. It said, Soup of the Day: Cream of Asparagus. Ellen DeGeneres.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Asparagus Funny Humor
Above all, I strive to be the best I can – to be better than I was yesterday and better tomorrow.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Being Best Tomorrow Yesterday
So excited for the Apple Watch. For centuries, we’ve checked the time by looking at our phones. Having it on your wrist? Genius.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Phone Reality Technology
Penguins mate for life. Which doesn’t really surprise me, because they all look exactly alike. It’s not like they’re gonna meet a better-looking penguin someday.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Looks Penguins Surprise
Beauty is not between a size 0 and a size 8. It’s not a number at all.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Beauty Between Numbers Size
I’m glad I’m funny. I’m glad I make people happy, because that’s very important. But I’m proud to be known as a kind person.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Compassion Kindness People
You have to have funny faces and words, you can’t just have words. It is a powerful thing, and I think that’s why it’s hard for people to imagine that women can do that, be that powerful.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Funny Humor Powerful

We can sit and worry about what’s going to happen to us two weeks from now. I’d rather focus on the amazing things happening right in front of us.

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We can sit and worry about what’s going to happen to us two weeks from now. I’d rather focus on the amazing things happening right in front of us.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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