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If we lose our phones, we lose our phone books. You don’t memorize numbers anymore.

Ellen DeGeneres

I had everything I’d hoped for, but I wasn’t being myself. So I decided to be honest about who I was. It was strange: The people who loved me for being funny suddenly didn’t like me for being… me.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Everything Funny People Strange
If someone ever says you’re weird, say thank you.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Saying Thank Weird
The way I see it… If you need both of your hands for whatever it is you’re doing, then your brain should probably be in on it too.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Brain Funny Hands Humor
We all feel like idiots at one time or another. Even if we feel we’re cool 98 percent of the time, that 2-percent doofus is poised to take over our bodies without any warning.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Ironic Mistake Warning
I had a really tough time for a few years. My show was gone. My phone wasn’t ringing. There wasn’t one job offer. And at that point, I thought I knew for sure that I wouldn’t work in Hollywood again.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Jobs Phones Years
It makes a big difference in your life when you stay positive.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Bigs Differences Positive Stay
Procrastination isn’t the problem. It’s the solution. It’s the universe’s way of saying stop, slow down, you move too fast.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Moving Procrastination Way
In the 80’s we had high, high, waisted pants, that if they came up any higher they’d have to go up another size, if you know what I mean.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Know Mean Pants Size
You can always tell when the relationship is over. Little things start getting on your nerves, ‘Would you please stop that! That breathing in and out, it’s so repetitious.’
ELLEN DEGENERES

Breathing Funny Relationship Nerves
I think I let go of the need for approval. It certainly feels good when you get it, but I used to be more desperate for it. Once I felt better inside about myself… I could do everything based on how I want to do things.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Funny Go Humor Letting
So excited for the Apple Watch. For centuries, we’ve checked the time by looking at our phones. Having it on your wrist? Genius.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Phone Reality Technology
My dog of 17 years just died. Oh you’re kidding?… Noooo… as funny as that is, I’m not
ELLEN DEGENERES

Dog Funny Humor
A circus! 100 clowns of injustice have climbed out of the tiny clown car of this court room.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Car Room Rooms Tiny
I put a basketball in front of George Clooney’s door and sprayed it with supermodel perfume to lure him out.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Basketball Doors Perfume Spray
I don’t really ever live my life in fear. I really live my life in gratitude and feeling positive for the most part.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Feelings Gratitude Life Living
I used to beat myself up about weight and working out, and no matter what I did I never felt good about myself. I decided to accept myself and know that I am good.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Matter Out Weight Work

If we lose our phones, we lose our phone books. You don’t memorize numbers anymore.

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If we lose our phones, we lose our phone books. You don’t memorize numbers anymore.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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