There are people who study germs. I believe they are called Germans
ELLEN DEGENERESWe’re told to go on living our lives as usual, because to do otherwise is to let the terrorists win, and really, what would upset the Taliban more than a gay woman wearing a suit in front of a room full of Jews?
More Ellen DeGeneres Quotes
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When people show me clothing that seems very, very feminine, it’s hard for me to embrace that, because it just doesn’t feel like me.
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Dan: ‘Ah, well, I hope this didn’t have anything to do with me.’ Ellen: ‘No, not unless you played Cat Woman in Batman.
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I just want to find somebody special, somebody that I click with.
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I wanted to have money; I wanted to be special; I wanted people to like me; I wanted to be famous.
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I never see the glass half empty because I drink out the bottle
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There’s always time to do things that you’re passionate about. … If my name helps get something out there that I believe in then I am going to produce it. … Design is really my true love.
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My hair is always at its best in New York. I don’t know what’s in the water. It could be mousse.
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Portia and I have been married for 4 years and they have been the happiest of my life. And in those 4 years, I don’t think we hurt anyone else’s marriage. I asked all of my neighbors and they say they’re fine
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Do things that make you happy within the confines of the legal system.
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I’m glad I’m funny. I’m glad I make people happy, because that’s very important. But I’m proud to be known as a kind person.
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My dog of 17 years just died. Oh you’re kidding?… Noooo… as funny as that is, I’m not
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Stuffed deer heads on walls are bad enough, but it’s worse when you see them wearing dark glasses, having streamers around their necks and a hat on their antlers. Because then you know they were enjoying themselves at a party when they were shot.
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Usually, I wear tennis shoes because my feet are flat, and it hurts to wear anything other than shoes that are cushiony.
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I’m on the patch right now. Where it releases small dosages of approval until I no longer crave it, and then I’m gonna rip it off.
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I’m so unfamiliar with the gym, I call it James!
ELLEN DEGENERES