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As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.

Dick Cavett

Show people tend to treat their finances like their dentistry. They assume the man handling it knows what he is doing.
DICK CAVETT

Assumption Finance Handle Himself People Treat
Perhaps the saddest irony of depression is that suicide happens when the patient gets a little better and can again function sufficiently.
DICK CAVETT

Better Depression Function Patience Sadness Suicide
Lawyers work hard and, like us, they’re human, many of them.
DICK CAVETT

Hard Work Lawyer Ourselves
Unpleasant reading on the subject of anger tells us that there’s not really anything wrong with it. In limited amounts. It can even be a good thing. A pressure valve.
DICK CAVETT

Amount Limitation Pressure Reading Subject Wrong
Every time I nostalgically try to regain my liking of John McCain, he reaches into his sleaze bag and pulls out something malodorous.
DICK CAVETT

Food Myself Reach Time
I’m sure I’ve all but lost friends by maintaining that, despite their love for it, I always saw Stanley Kramer’s ‘It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World’ as more of an exercise in anti-comedy than humor.
DICK CAVETT

Exercise Friendship Lost Maintenance Myself
Every comic can report a few ‘gift from the gods’ moments.
DICK CAVETT

Comic Gift God Moments Report
Every student of comedy should see Dame Edna at least twice.
DICK CAVETT

Comedy See Student
It was at a vividly bad time in Norman Mailer’s life that I met him, and a sort of water-treading time in mine. He had stabbed his wife, and I was a copy boy at Time magazine.
DICK CAVETT

Bad Life Magazine Time Wife
I’m the only talk show host, I think, if there’s such a category in, what’s called, the book of records, to have a guest die while we were taping the show, yeah.
DICK CAVETT

Book Category Death Record Talk Thinking
It was well after college that I learned about depression. I got my first job for Jack Paar. I realized I was sleeping 14 hours a day and just living for the Paar show.
DICK CAVETT

College Learning Myself Realization
I hate Danny Kaye movies.
DICK CAVETT

Hate Movie Myself
The Nixon administration kept a nasty eye on our show… Cops would come by – often just in time to see the act they wanted to see.
DICK CAVETT

Administration Eyes See Sight
If your parents never had children, chances are neither will you.
DICK CAVETT

Children Parents Yourself
There should be three days a week when no one is allowed to say: ‘What’s your sign?’ Violators would have their copies of Kahlil Gibran confiscated.
DICK CAVETT

Allow Day Violate
The mob became unruly and the police were forced to resort to sex.
DICK CAVETT

Force Police Sex

As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.

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As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.

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Popular Authors

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