“Keeping us safe is really not my job; it’s the black guy’s [Obama’s] job. But I’ll tell you this: If I don’t finish in the top three for the next Nobel Peace Prize, something’s seriously wrong.”

Larry Bird is overrated in a lot of areas. … Why does he get so much publicity? Because he’s white. You never hear about a black player being the greatest.

For years the league has thought I’ve been on drugs. I would have burned out a long time ago if that was true.

This life is like a swimming pool. You dive into the water, but you can’t see how deep it is.

If the North wanted to hack anything in the world, anything in the world, really, they are going to go hack a movie? Really?!

I went from five foot eleven to six foot eight, and the more ball I played, the more I caught on to the game.

They didn’t have a problem with me being wild and crazy when it came time to fill the arenas.

I say I’m Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison, Janis Joplin all wrapped up into one. If I die early … I’ll be just like those guys.

I felt like calling attention to AIDS. I had the AIDS ribbon colored into my hair during the playoffs in ’95.

I’ve been homeless. I’ve worked at 7-Eleven.

I’m hungrier than those other guys out there. Every rebound is a personal challenge.

For five years I’ve felt like the best prostitute in a high-class whorehouse. But all the other girls get paid more than I do.

I learned a lot I wouldn’t have learned roaming the streets of Dallas.

This whole huddle thing really pisses me off.

Fifty percent of life in the NBA is sex. The other 50 percent is money.

The Spurs couldn’t put everything aside and just play the damn game.

Why it’s been left to me to smooth things over, I don’t know. Dennis Rodman, of all people.