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I’ve just swum the length of the Thames. I feel quite tired.

David Walliams

The most used piece of kit in my kitchen is my saucepan. I use it every morning to cook my porridge in. The least used piece of equipment? I’d say a food mixer. I’ve never used it, I don’t really know what they’re for.
DAVID WALLIAMS

Cook Kitchen Morning Use
I love telling stories. I love the intimacy between the writer and reader. When you write sketches it’s over in two minutes. When you write a book the characters have to have a bit of emotional depth.
DAVID WALLIAMS

Book Character Writing
My favourite restaurant of all time is Mildreds on London’s Lexington Street. It’s a little vegetarian restaurant and is really fun and healthy, too. It was the first place I went to in London and really liked. That was 20 years ago, and it is still my favourite.
DAVID WALLIAMS

Fun Healthy Years
I’ve just swum the length of the Thames. I feel quite tired.
DAVID WALLIAMS

Length Thames Tired
It’s strange how sometimes you can be so happy it goes all the way round to sadness.
DAVID WALLIAMS

Sadness Strange Way
We’ve got 12-year-old boys dressing up as transvestites.
DAVID WALLIAMS

Boys Dressing Transvestites Years
I used to have a silk dressing gown an uncle bought in Japan and when I came downstairs in it, my dad used to call me Davinia. There was never embarrassment about that kind of thing. My sister used to dress me up a lot. She thought I was a little doll.
DAVID WALLIAMS

Country Dad Place Uncles
Writing for radio really focuses the mind, because you can’t rely on thinking “Oh, just pull a funny face at the end of this sketch.” You’ve got to try to work on the words.
DAVID WALLIAMS

Mind Thinking Writing
I am a huge fan of ‘Doctor Who.’
DAVID WALLIAMS

Doctors Fans Huge
I know somebody from university who’s called Phil Collins, and I think there’s something terribly unfortunate about sharing a name with somebody who either is famous or becomes famous.
DAVID WALLIAMS

Names Thinking Unfortunate
All human life can be found in an airport.
DAVID WALLIAMS

Airports Found Human Life
TV has lost a lot of its self-confidence as its power has been eroded by the internet.
DAVID WALLIAMS

Confidence Internet Self Television
I just want to be happy, have kids, enjoy my life, help others and create some good work.
DAVID WALLIAMS

Helping Kids Others Want
I think comedy is a bit more international than people credit. I happily watch lots of American shows and American comedy films. If I did a list of the top 10 comedy films in Britain, there’s no sense that it would probably be different than yours.
DAVID WALLIAMS

Different People Thinking
There’s a sort of magic and music to comedy. Some words, some numbers even, are funnier than others. A Caramac bar, for instance, is funnier than a Milky Way.
DAVID WALLIAMS

Bars Magic Numbers
I’m terribly attention-seeking. It’s very different once you get all this attention, though. Because then you want to control it. And you can’t exactly.
DAVID WALLIAMS

Attention Different Want

I’ve just swum the length of the Thames. I feel quite tired.

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I’ve just swum the length of the Thames. I feel quite tired.

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