“The origin of the absurd idea of immortal life is easy to discover; it is kept alive by hope and fear, by childish faith, and by cowardice.”

Physical deformity, calls forth our charity. But the infinite misfortune of moral deformity calls forth nothing but hatred and vengeance.

I am sure of very little, and I shouldn’t be surprised if those things were wrong.

Scopes isn’t on trial; civilization is on trial.

Justice has nothing to do with what goes on in a courtroom; Justice is what comes out of a courtroom

Autobiography is never entirely true. No one can get the right perspective on himself. Every fact is colored by imagination and dream.

I do not believe in god because I do not believe in Mother Goose.

The first half of our lives are ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.

To think is to differ.

I knew that it is out of the question to have honest, economical government while a few are inordinately rich and the great mass of men are poor. In fact, it is to be doubted if anything really worthwhile can be done until there is a fairer distribution of wealth.

There are two things that kill a genius – a fatal disease and contentment.

Even if you do learn to speak correct English, whom are you going to speak it to?

I never wanted to see anybody die, but there are a few obituary notices I have read with pleasure.

I am always suspicious of righteous indignation. Nothing is more cruel than righteous indignation.

Working people have alot of bad habits, but the worst of these is work.

I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure – that is all that agnosticism means.

Probably the undertaker thinks less of death than almost any other man. He is so accustomed to it that his mind must involuntarily turn from its horror to a contemplation of how much he makes out of the burial.

Valor lies just halfway between rashness and cowardice.

Many a false step was made by standing still.

Caution, Sir! I am eternally tired of hearing that word caution. It is nothing but the word of cowardice!

And here I am, dying in my bed, like cattle die. May the eyes of cowards never sleep.

No coward soul is mine.

Courage is confused with picking up arms and cowardness is confused with laying them down.

May the eyes of cowards never sleep.

If Heaven had looked upon riches to be a valuable thing, it would not have given them to such a scoundrel.