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If Michael Jordan was a damn plumber, he couldn’t get a date. Any guy got $500 million looks good.

Charles Barkley

We’re just playing basketball. It’s not like we’re going out to have unprotected sex with Magic.
CHARLES BARKLEY

Funny Magic Protection Sex Sports
I remember sitting down with the Rockets and saying, ‘Yeah. I’m going to retire.’ They said, ‘Well, we’ll give you $9 million.’ And I said, ‘You got a pen on you?’
CHARLES BARKLEY

Funny Money Myself Remember Yourself
If all babies are so cute, how the hell do we have so many ugly people in the world?
CHARLES BARKLEY

Appearance Beautiful Children People Ugly World
It’s the kind of game that makes you go home and beat your wife.
CHARLES BARKLEY

Funny Game Home Kind Wife Yourself
Just because you say something doesn’t make it controversial, and it doesn’t make you a bad person.
CHARLES BARKLEY

Bad Person Talk Yourself
I’d never buy my girl a watch… she’s already got a clock over the stove.
CHARLES BARKLEY

Funny Gift Myself Relationship Woman
People always say he can run and he can jump. So can a deer and you wouldn’t put a deer in the game.
CHARLES BARKLEY

Animal Game Himself People
I came to the realization a couple months ago that I am fat. If you get tired from walking – and that’s all that golf is – then you are officially fat.
CHARLES BARKLEY

Appearance Myself Sports Walk Yourself
My initial response was to sue her for defamation of character, but then I realized that I had no character.
CHARLES BARKLEY

Character Myself Reality
You can talk without saying a thing. I don’t ever want to be that type of person.
CHARLES BARKLEY

Myself Person Talk Yourself
Christian is going to be the strongest man in the NBA next year, because all he’s been doing all summer is carrying around the luggage for 11 guys.
CHARLES BARKLEY

Carry Man Strong Summer
White folks are not going to come to see a bunch of guys with tattoos, with cornrows. I’m sorry, but anyone who thinks different, they’re stupid.
CHARLES BARKLEY

Design Different People See Sorry Stupidity Thinking White
I always laugh when people ask me about rebounding techniques. I’ve got a technique. It’s called just go get the damn ball.
CHARLES BARKLEY

Laughter Myself People Sports Technique
You can’t start a diet in the middle of the week, that’s just stupid.
CHARLES BARKLEY

Food Start Stupidity Yourself
I don’t hate anyone, at least not for more than 48 minutes, barring overtime.
CHARLES BARKLEY

Hate Myself Time
He’ll never be Jordan. This clearly takes him out of the conversation. He can win as much as he wants to.
CHARLES BARKLEY

Be Yourself Himself Idol Win

If Michael Jordan was a damn plumber, he couldn’t get a date. Any guy got $500 million looks good.

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If Michael Jordan was a damn plumber, he couldn’t get a date. Any guy got $500 million looks good.

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Popular Authors

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